Republicans Cry Un-Kosher! Will Bring Home The Bacon Anyway

Some brave Republican governors are risking it all to take a stand against Comrade Barry and his $787 billion Socialist stimulus bill to ruin America.

These true American heroes have had enough of his pork-filled spendulus package and are threatening to reject the money available for education, health care and infrastructure in their states. Now that […]

Following Abortion Ban, Sales Of Hangers Surge In North Dakota

Why Should South Dakota Have All The Fun?

North Dakota, the shining star of progress and enlightenment in America, just passed a law effectively banning abortion in the state.

In a 51-41 vote on Wednesday, North Dakota’s House of Representatives passed a bill that gives a fertilized egg all the same rights as a person, meaning a […]

The End Of The Affair: Bush And Dick’s Bitter Break Up

Remember the good old days when George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were BFF and everyone worshiped America and we all still had money and no one had any problems?

Me neither. But if that were true, you can thank a guy named Lewis (Scooter) Libby for screwing that all up and ruining a perfectly beautiful […]

Move Over Plaxico, This Gal’s Got Aim!

She may look sweet and innocent, but don’t be fooled. New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand will f**k you up.

The congresswoman and mother of two keeps two rifles under the bed she shares with her husband Jonathan in their upstate New York home. And she is not afraid to use them.

Although Gillibrand admits neither she nor […]

Pot Meet Kettle

Well, well look who we have here, our old pal John McCain!

It’s been awhile since we last saw Johnny and naturally much has changed. Like John McCain going from an “angry old candidate to an angry old defeated candidate.”

On Sunday, the J Mac took his angry self to CNN, so he could let the American […]

Another 10,000 Reasons Why Roland "No Taint" Burris Deserves To Be Senator

Oh no! Turns out Sen. Roland “No Taint” Burris’ nomination to the Senate may have been slightly less squeaky clean than previously thought. Which comes as a real shocker considering he was appointed to the bleeping golden thing by someone as moral and upstanding as Mr. “Hot” Rod Blagojevich.

So what if Burris conveniently forgot to […]

K Street Cupid: Blue And Red Go Pink

When it comes to advice on how to be sexy and romantic, who knows better than the Casanovas on Capitol Hill?

Like Obama transition chairman John Podesta whose idea of a red-hot Valentines consists of a steamy evening at a Catholic Charity Ball. Then? Home to “spend some time with his wife.” Johnny, you little rascal!

George […]

Straight-Edge Amazon Says Game Over To RapeLay

Since the world is not violent and disturbing enough, the wizards over at Japanese gaming company Illusionsoft thought a nice, simple rape game might help spice up the market. Give the kids a good time! I mean there’s only so many cars to jack, prostitutes to beat, and cops to kill before even that gets […]

Wanted: Commerce Secretary For Quick Confirmation; Convicts Need Not Apply

“I Think I Smell A Rat”

With all the usual class and dignity reserved for cabinet nominees who withdraw their nominations by blindsiding the President while he’s off campaigning, Sen. Judd Gregg announced his decision not to serve as Barack Obama’s Commerce Secretary.

The problem of course being that as Obama’s Commerce Secretary and token cabinet Republican […]

The Windy City Blues

Chicago, My Kind Of Town?

Not so fast Chicago. Sure you’ve been on a roll lately, claiming not one but two of the most powerful people in the world as your own (Obama and Oprah, in either order), becoming a leading contender to host the 2016 Summer Olympics, having both baseball teams make the postseason, and […]