March « 2009 « Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Barry Goes Hollywood

Obama Does Jay!

Omg. The media can’t stop buzzing about Barack Obama history-making turn as the first sitting president to ever make a guest appearance on the “The Tonight Show.”

And can you really blame them? First, the whole black president thing and now the late night circuit? The man just won’t stop!

But a lot of Republicans […]

Fear Not America, Congress To The Rescue!

“It Wasn’t Me!”

Oh god. Things are so bad, we’re not even sure who to blame for this whole AIG bonus bulls**t anymore.

There’s the jerk-off executives whose anti-Midas touch makes anything they go near turn to s**t, no matter how many billions you keep pumping into them.

Then there’s Sen. Chris Dodd whose brief amensia lifted just […]

Barack-etology! Obama’s Method To The Madness

Barry Knows Best?

Barack Obama may have an economy to save, two wars to fight, and the weight of the world on his shoulders, but that doesn’t mean he’s too busy for a little March Madness action.

I mean there’s a reason Air Force One has DirecTV, and it’s not for watching C-SPAN.

As for who’s gonna win […]

Step Aside, Leroy Brown-There’s A New Baddest Man In Town!

Aw, hell no, AIG! In case you forgot, there’s a new sheriff in town. And this one ain’t f**king around. He means business.

But not the kind of business the wonderful folks over at AIG are used to. You know, the kind that fleeces $173 billion from the public in order to reward the brilliant […]

Dick Cheney’s Sleepless Nights

Eternal optimist and beacon of hope for all humanity, Dick Cheney isn’t one to focus only on the negative. But even a ray of sunshine like himself knows danger when he sees it, and that danger is named Barack Hussein Obama.

Unlike that current menace in the White House, Dick knows that Bush administration policies on […]

Another Day, Another Republican Senator’s Innocent Airport Meltdown

Louisiana’s Own Sen. David Vitter

Uh-Oh, looks like the Republicans have found themselves in another pickle involving an esteemed colleague acting like a total jackass in a (very public) U.S. airport.Fortunately, this little incident doesn’t include the words “soliciting gay sex” and “men’s bathroom,” thanks to Louisiana Sen. David Vitter whose recent airport temper […]

A Diamond Is Forever; Bristol Palin And Levi Johnston Not So Much

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Oh no! America’s favorite role models for unwed teenage pregnancies you don’t regret but just wished happened ten years later, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called off their engagement. A stunning twist in what otherwise was a perfect, fairy tale romance.

The heart-breaking news comes just 2 1/2 months after 18-year-old […]

Attack Of The 50 Ft. Woman: Ann Coulter Vs. Bill Maher In Chicago Smackdown!

Stop Pretending You’re Not A Crazy B*tch!

For anyone willing to fork over between $35 and $200 to watch an anorexic blonde who’s hot in a psychotic alien sort of way spar with a “liberal” comedian who hates Jesus freaks almost as much as dumb, crazy bimbos named Ann, Wednesday night’s Coulter/Maher showdown at the Chicago […]

Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?

With the help of some (eight to be exact) bacon-loving Republicans, another one of presidential badass Barack Obama’s $410 billion pork fests cruised smoothly through the Senate, despite the defection of three treacherous Democrats: Sens. Evan Bayh of Indiana, Russ Feingold of Wisconsin and Claire McCaskill of Missouri. The so-called Omnibus–which is really […]

Hunger Gets What Hunger Wants!

Barack Obama: Bringing People Together

It is no secret that President Obama has made bipartisanship an important theme in his first two months in office. So he will be happy to know that there’s one issue both Democratic and Republican members of congress readily agree on: their seething hatred of the “tiny little portions” of food […]

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