Judge Rules Against Sending Forgotten Hairball Rod Blagojevich To Costa Rican Jungle

In a slap in the face to decent Americans across the country, a federal judge in Chicago denied forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich’s insane request to travel to Costa Rica to participate in a reality TV show called “I’m a Celebrity … Get me Out of Here!”

Calling it a “bad idea” to modify Blagojevich’s bail terms […]

Meet Meghan McCain: The Republican Party’s New Miss Thang!

The Fresh New Face Of The GOP

Okay, so John McCain’s presidential bid didn’t turn out exactly as he would’ve liked, but at least some good came out of spending endless amounts of time and money on a losing effort to convince the public he’s NOT in fact George W. Bush.

Like his quirky blond daughter becoming […]

Obama’s Salsa Dance With The Devil Down Under

President Barack Obama arrived on the two-island nation of Trinidad and Tobago for the 5th Summit of the Americas on Saturday, where he hobnobbed with Latin leaders and even exchanged handshakes and pats on the back with hearty Venezuelan president and perpetual thorn-in-the side Hugo Chavez.

It was quite a departure from the previous administration’s interactions […]

Fox Doesn’t Just Cover The News, They Sponsor It Too!

Fox News continued proving its journalistic excellence with its trademark “fair and balanced” coverage of the wild tea party movement that’s sweeping through the nation. Or at least through the Fox News room.

There, everyone’s favorite trustworthy Fox News anchors, like Glenn Beck, Neil Cavuto, Greta Van Susteren, and Sean Hannity helped giddily celebrate “FNC’s Tax […]

Gasp! The Lone Star State Threatens To Go It Alone…

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is so fired up from Wednesday’s tea party protests that he just might take his Lone Star state and secede from the god damn U.S. of A now that it’s been overrun by a bunch of big-spendin’ Commies!

“Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one […]

Disgruntled Conservatives Use Poor, Misguided Masses To Protest Taxes And Black Presidents

The Taxman Cometh

Republicans are in a pickle. On the one hand, they don’t want to seem like some Obama-loving liberal too pussy to attend one of the hundreds of anti-tax “tea parties” taking place across the country, but on the other, they don’t necessarily want to be associated with some fringe movement by a bunch […]

Minnesota Finally Has A Senator…Almost

Al Franken wins! Sort of.

Five months after the rest of the country’s 50 states managed to get their act together and elect someone, anyone to represent them in Congress, the great state of Minnesota remains torn between homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley and reformed, grass-smoking flower child turned three-piece suit.

Luckily for them, a Minnesota court […]

Comrade Barry’s Havana Affair

Viva La Revolucion!

Comrade Barry moved America a step closer to apocalyptic doom on Monday, announcing his decision to ease travel and money restrictions for Cuban-Americans hoping to reach out to family members and loved ones still stuck on the evil communist plantation island.

The Obama administration’s dangerous, new Havana love affair permits U.S. telecommunications networks to […]

It’s All About The "Bo!"

Woooohooo!!! America is very excited. And not because some bad-ass Navy Seals snipers took out three pirates with exactly three bullet shots to the head in a daring rescue of hostage U.S. Captain Richard Phillips after a five-day standoff. Snooze.

But because the first family finally welcomed their first pet, a 6-month-old Portuguese water dog–and boy […]

Lady Killer Silvio Berlusconi Charms Italy’s Female Law Enforcers

Ladies and gentleman, it’s Silvio Berlusconi, Prime Minister and third richest man in Italy!

He’s apparently also quite the joker (which explains why Bush and him were such fast friends). It also explains why the hell the second longest-serving PM in Italian history’s logical reaction to seeing a policewoman minding her own business writing parking tickets […]