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The Fourth of July is supposed to be all about patriotic celebration, with plenty of food, family, fun and fireworks. But nooooooo. Alaskan floozy Sarah Palin had to go and ruin it for everyone by announcing she is quitting her illustrious non-job as governor of our beloved 49th state. She must really hate America to […] When she’s not starting fights with perverted talk show hosts and bloggers who hate special-needs children, Sarah Barracuda Palin likes to throw on a pair of Asics (no hoity toity Nike’s for her!), breathe in the beautiful sub-zero Alaskan air and hit the trails runnin’! Ice queen Sarah Palin knows here’s nothing quite like the feeling […] Don’t be frightened America. Fox News’ golden-haired patriot Glenn Beck and Teddy Ruxpin’s evil twin, former CIA agent Michael Scheuer know what needs to be done to save the mighty Red, White, and Blue from certain doom thanks to Comrade Barry and the rest of the Democratic pussies currently in charge of ruining the country. Osama […] OMG, we’ve waited and waited and finally our prayers have been answered–homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley is officially headed to the U.S. Senate! Eight months, a couple of recounts, and countless court fights after the epic battle between SNL comedian turned godless Democrat Al Franken and hippie stoner turned lame Republican Norm Coleman first began, the […] |
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