Ann Romney Knows There's Nothing Stiff About Mitt, At Least From The Waist Down

Oh Ann. When not driving around in a “couple’a Cadillacs” or saying oblivious, tone-deaf rich lady things to the American people, like how she doesn’t “feel rich” (or anything, really), Mittens’ delightful, faux impoverished wife enjoys ruffling a few feathers, so long as they’re the finest down, exceedingly rare, and prohibitively expensive to anyone not married to a Mormon finance millionaire former governor turned presidential candidate.

Like when she is asked about Mitt’s unfortunate tendency to act like a tragically uncool, improperly programmed robot obsessed with tree height not poor people’s plight, and awkwardly belting out off-key versions of “America the Beautiful” every time the camera rolls, and ends up inadvertantly making a hilarious sexytime joke about his apparently flaccid, viagra-starved penis instead.

Rarrrrr, easy there Ann tiger!

Wow, these two! Mitt & Ann are like a political, married, boring Mormon Abbot and Costello yukking it up on the election trail. The hilarity that comes out of their mouths is pure gold.

Unlike their hearts.

So what if Ann Romney wants to unzip Mitt’s HUGE personality and let every inch of his MorMAN stand proud?

Guess that explains why he’s always talking about wood stumps being the right height.

His Upper Lip Isn’t The Only Thing Stiff, My Friends!

[image via Gawker]

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