Are You There God? It's Me, Harry

Living On A Prayer

Please, please God, let this stimulus bill pass so for once I don’t look even more like the impotent, wisp of a senate majority leader everyone thinks I am.

I’ve tried my very best to make dear leader Obama proud. I even let Rahm Emanuel follow me around all day like a smitten school girl to make sure I didn’t get bullied by those meany Republicans. They can be so rude!

But did I complain? No.

Did I whine about having to spend endless hours in backroom negotiations trying to trim $80 billion in pork so the only three rational Republicans in the Senate, Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter would agree to support it? No.

Or how about having to deal with those pesky “moderate” Democrats (whatever the hell that means…who do they think they’re kidding?) like self-proclaimed conservative Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson?

You try talking to a guy who says things like, “We trimmed the fat, fried the bacon and milked the sacred cows.” A real piece of work that Nelson.

But, hey, whatever it takes to make a little ol’ senate majority leader like me look powerful. Harry Reid, he’s strong like bull.

And to get that damn mad man Rahm Emanuel off my back. He’s scary.

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