Bored with life alone with Laura, Barney, and Miss Beazley in some hoity-toity Dallas suburb instead of at his Crawford Ranch where he really wanted to be, George W. Bush has decided to come out of his publicly-imposed exile and re-enter into the society he destroyed to join his old pal Dick Cheney on the nutjob media circuit tour.
Which has put the GOP in a quite a tizzy. They just don’t know what to do with dear W! It was easy during his last few months in office. Hideously unpopular and quickly replacing Jimmy Carter as the nation’s biggest embarrassment, Dubya at least had the common courtesy to stay out of everyone’s way and amuse himself with the sweet new Xbox 360 Dick and the gang chipped in to buy him, even though it wasn’t even his birthday or Christmas!
But suddenly Bush is back and the GOP finds itself facing a cold, hard truth: no matter how hard they try, they just can’t quit 43.
And lord knows they’ve tried. During the presidential primary, the Republicans scrambled all over trying to distance themselves from the Ebola-like virus of George W. Bush, while Democrats did whatever they could to convince voters Bush and the GOP were like conjoined twins who’d die if separated.
But with Bush once again emerging out of shameful obscurity to speak at the Economic Club of Southwest Michigan and later to appear with his brother Bill Clinton at a forum in Toronto, the GOP is slowly starting to re-embrace Bush’s legacy. The man himself, not so much.
So while the right resumes its love affair with Bush’s effective policies of war, torture, and bankruptcy, you would think they’d show the man who started it all the respect he deserves.
But nooo, instead of thanking ol’ Dubya, everywhere you look it’s Dick Cheney this and Dick Cheney that.
It’s enough to almost make you feel sorry for the guy. Almost. I mean what the hell does a guy need to do to get a little respect around here, anyway?
