CPAC: It’s Just Like Lollapalooza, Minus The Music And Fun

How Cute, A GOP Furry!

Ah yes. It is once again that beautiful time of the year when every gun-loving, gay bashing nut job from around the country descends on Washington for a rip-roaring weekend of Conservative Political Action Conference fun!

There, the brightest conservative minds in the country will gather at the Omnishore Hotel to bitch about Barack Obama’s socialist takeover of America while giddily plotting the Republican’s stunning comeback victory in 2012.

The young American patriots who attend will also be treated to a who’s who list of Republican stars including GOP God Rush Limbaugh, America’s favorite fake sanitary worker Joe The Plumber, and of course the lovely not-at-all insane Ann Coulter, along with her three-foot neck of freedom.

Although, Alaskan ice princess Sarah Palin couldn’t make it, RNC Chairman Michael Steele and Rep. Michele Bachmann brought plenty of youthful GOP street cred by saying things like “my bad” and “you da man!” and other hip stuff the kids really go for these days.

Then Tucker Carlson showed everyone you don’t need to wear a cool bow tie to be a true conservative.

As long as you’ve seriously contemplated stockpiling weapons and food and moving to Idaho, hate the New York Times almost as much as that illegal alien Barack Obama, and think heaven on earth consists of 25 different Fox News channels, you too can become part of this noble party to save America.

You just might have to wait a good four to eight years. Minimum.

Who’s Da Man?

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