Divine Intervention (and Plenty of Pork) Keeps Health Care Reform From Being FiliBUSTED!

Are you there God? It’s me, Harry

Please God, let Joe Lieberman be struck down by some terribly contagious rash that then makes its way into the brain of that insufferable pro-life fetus whore Ben Nelson so we can finally look like a legislative body capable of getting something accomplished other than giving Glenn Beck one more reason to have a hysterical breakdown and weep like a baby on national TV. Because I don’t think anyone, myself included, wants to explain to dungeon master Nancy Pelosi why exactly we can’t crack the whip like a certain lady speaker who shall remain nameless but isn’t afraid to break out the big guns to bring the boys in line.

What’s that you say, God? You offered that intolerable Nebraskan fellow a hearty chunk of pork (even though we all know your thoughts on that filthy animal) for his beloved home state and now he suddenly loves the health care bill even more than he loves unborn fetuses??

Wow, you really are all-powerful! To think you got a curmudgeon like Ben Nelson to sign on as the key 60th vote to stop a Republican filibuster and all it took was a nice slab o’ swine for the Cornhuskers and a few tweaks to the ol’ abortion language?

What’s that, Lord? It was all in a day’s work? And you already had plenty of clout with most congressmen (save for that one freak atheist socialist Bernie Sanders), not just the whole “I hate health care and womens’ reproductive rights unless there’s something in it for me” wing of the party? All you did was wave some porky perks and tasty abortion restrictions and Ben Nelson was suddenly putty in your hands?

Is there no limit to your awesomeness?

“I know this is hard for some of my colleagues to accept and I appreciate their right to disagree,” said Nelson of the many changes made at his behest. “But I would not have voted for this bill without these provisions.”

Hahaha, no wonder they call you God and not Harry Reid!

2 comments to Divine Intervention (and Plenty of Pork) Keeps Health Care Reform From Being FiliBUSTED!

  • Tom Degan's Daily Rant says:

    A tip of the hat to the senator from Connecticut for killing the first chance we've ever had for meaningful health care reform….

    Honestly, has there ever been as vengeful a little gnat as Joe Lieberman? You'd really have to search the archives of history pretty thoroughly to find someone comparable. There are many reasons why Al Gore was defeated in 2000 by a half-witted frat boy like George W. Bush. One of the main reasons was the abysmal choice of running mate Lieberman.

    It was obvious during the debate with Dick Cheney during that campaign that comical Joe was a useless drag on the ticket. When Cheney said that his success in the private sector had nothing to do with the government, Lieberman let the statement stand. Cheney made his fortune at Haliburton because of Government contracts! Government had everything to do with it! Did he purposefully sabotage the Gore campaign? Maybe it's pure paranoia on my part but a case could be made that he did.

    Say it ain't so, Revoltin' Joe.

    Tom Degan
    Goshen NY

  • […] right! That Ben Nelson, the same insufferable pro-life fetus whore who also voted no on beginning the whole health care reform debate because he likes to see poor […]

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