Hey America, The Donald Knows What's Weird & It Isn't Whatever Died On Top Of His Head

America’s most beloved human hairpiece and billionaire cartoon character THE Donald Trump took a break from the usual destroying people’s lives and slathering Crisco on his already unnaturally orange body to assume his rightful place as the #1 undisputed authority on all things weird.

Even weirder is that his name was actually “Soetoro.” But hey, fuggedaboutit!

Cause either way, da Donald is as classy and on-point as ever, calling out lame, no-good OBAMA for taking his stepfather’s last name after his real father abandoned him (haha loser!) instead of handing him a New York real estate empire, like some other tremendous people he knows (ahem, ahem).

Wanna know what else is weird? When Barack Obama was 47, he was elected President of the United States. When The Donald Trump was 47, he was bankrupt. WEIRDER.

But the important thing is that when he was 18, people called him Donald Trump. To his face.

Otherwise, he was mostly known as COCKSUCKER/ASSHOLE/DOUCHEBAG/DIPSHIT.


[image via Wonkette]

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