Hot Rod Blagojevich’s (Pre) Jailhouse Rock Performance

Forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich really wanted to go to the Costa Rican jungle to eat bugs with his lovely wife Patti on the hit short-lived reality show “I’m a Celebrity … Get me Out of Here!” but some stupid federal judge wouldn’t let him just because he tried to sell a friggin’ golden senate seat to make a little dough while serving the fine people of Illinois. So what, who cares?

Well, multi-talented Mr. Blagojevich knows how to do a few things other than shaking down Children’s Hospitals and styling hair. He knows what the people want and he’s not afraid to give it to them. And what they want is more Rod Blagojevich!

So before shamefully heading to the dustbins of political history as the Lego-haired embarrassment he is, Hot Rod Blagojevich gave the world the final star-making performance it’d been waiting for. A true Blago original, this time in honor of his coif-sharing idol: the one, the only, Sir Elvis Presley (Al Capone was close though).

Hell, he loves performing so much he’d do it even if he wasn’t paid. Which he was. But he might give some of the money to a charity for cancer patients. Maybe. If they’re really lucky he just might throw in those luscious brown locks. Free of charge.

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