If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em: Sarah Palin Goes Rogue With Elitist Media Queen Oprah

Rogue author and GOP sexpot from the snowy north Sarah Palin graced us sinners and traitors in the Lower 48 to talk about her favorite subject other than herself (no not Facebook, Levi Johnston of course!) on that popular chocolate lady’s television show, Orpah, Oprah or whatever it’s called.

Speaking to the talk show queen, the queen of Alaska had some choice words for baby daddy and former Bristol beau, Levi Johnston’s (or shall we say Ricky Hollywood’s) recent extracurricular activities.

Un-Christian activities such as running around like some cheap media whore and engaging in “aspiring porn” when he should be spending quality time with his 11-month old son, Tripp.

Let’s not mince words here. Sarah Palin knows sexual deviance when she sees it and Levi err Ricky’s little bare-all Playgirl photo shoot, featuring not one but two “hockey sticks,” is exactly that.

“I call that porn,” Palin explained, adding that “some of the things that he is doing is kind of heartbreaking.”

However, Palin said that she continues to “hope for the best, and pray for Levi,” before blasting the no-good lying bastard for shirking his duties as a father in order to hobnob with the elitist media to promote his new-found ambitions as an actor, model, and professional nudist.

“He hasn’t seen the baby much while he has been on his media tours,” Palin said.

But his legs aren’t the only thing Levi’s been spreading. How about all those terrible lies about Sarah’s perfectly wonderful family?? None of which have even a single grain of truth to them, she’ll have you know!

When asked about her plans for 2012, Palin said that a presidential run in two years is “not on my radar screen right now.”

“I am dealing with so many issues that are important to me,” she said. “What I am seeing every day is that you don’t need a title to be important.”

Or as you taught us, sweet Sarah, you don’t need to be important to have a title.

You just need a hot bod, nice shade of lipstick, minimum brain activity, radical views and a desperate old man willing to bet the house on an untested Alaskan maverick who listens only to the soothing voice of Jesus Christ…and Glenn Beck. Oh and snagging that $7 million signing bonus didn’t hurt either.