Michele Bachmann Would Love To Be Queen To This "Stunning" King

Minnesota hellwoman Michele Bachmann may be willing to slit her wrists for freedom but turns out patriotic bloodletting isn’t the only thing to get this right-wing raven all hot and bothered.

That my friends is up to kindred spirit and “stunning” fellow nutball Rep. Steve King of Iowa whose sexy baby blues and virulent homophobia is enough to melt the ice-cold heart of this seductively unstable Land O’ Lakes vixen.

In fact, Michele Bachmann is so smitten with this anti-gay crusading, chiseled, stud muffin that she cannot use a single word to describe this sexy, rock-hard definition of manhood other than stunning.

Michele’s latest eye-f**king of Mr. King occurred just this week on the House floor when she yielded to the “stunning” Representative from Iowa and proved to the world her true calling lies not in Congress but in low-budget pornography films where her and Steve would be free to strip amendments and filibuster each other all night long.

While Bachmann may not be ready or mentally balanced enough to make a White House run of her own, she does know one studly, testosterone-pumping beefcake of a man who would be a perfect candidate to get embarrassed in 2012.

“I have a very high opinion of Steve King and his ability, so I would encourage him to consider any position for higher office.” Or any position where he’s on top of her for that matter.

While Bachmann attributes the “stunning” nickname to the national media, political commentators and other such pundits and insiders, the ever-adorable congressman from Minnesota seems to be the only person actually using the stunning label to describe King.

Asshole, sure. Racist whackjob, maybe. Ignorant bigot, no doubt. But stunning? Eh, a quick search of Google and Lexis Nexis seems to prove that’s reserved for Michele and Michele alone.

Let’s examine the evidence:

I must have my cape on. To the stunning gentleman from Iowa, the great Steve King, I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of this discussion that you’re broaching. And you’ve done a wonderful job all week on different occasions talking about the true depth of this problem and the positive alternatives. –September 17, 2009

I could never hold a candle to the stunning Steve King of Iowa, so I thank you for deferring to me for a few minutes, and I am extremely grateful for the gentleman’s comments on the floor so far this evening. –September 14, 2009

I want to thank so much my colleague, Steve King from Iowa — the “stunning” Steve King of Iowa, as he is known in the mainstream media, so grateful for your advocacy, and also for that of Judge Gohmert. And Judge Gohmert, I trust that you’re a hanging judge down in the State of Texas. –April 28, 2009

I thank the gentleman from Iowa, also known as the Stunning Steve King of Iowa, as stated by national political commentators, who certainly know what they are talking about. Steve King is one of our stalwart patriots who is here on the floor fighting on behalf of the American people. –March 24, 2009

I would like to add to the stunning Steve King from Iowa for his comment. –March 12, 2009

So basically one blue-eyed, raving madwoman wants to bang an equally insane ocean-eyed defender of all things Jesus, moral, and white.

What a stunning coincidence!!

Royally Screwed: The Crank Queen & Her Stunning King

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