Nation Panics As Gay Marriage Outbreak Spreads To Vermont

Oh no! America’s descent into moral decay deepened on Tuesday, when Vermont became the fourth state to switch to the dark side and grant gays and lesbians the right to marry.

Nine years after Vermont started the crazy “let’s give rights to gays” trend with the nation’s first civil unions law, the state legislature voted to override Republican (duh!) Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto, making Vermont the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage, after Massachusetts, Connecticut, and of course the great gay Mecca Iowa.

Should have seen it coming from the birthplace of ice-cream’s original queer power couple Ben & Jerry.

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