No Laughing Matter: Scott Brown's "Model" Justice Is All Of Them But Really Whoever People Like Best

Ah, the smell of manliness and money in the air can only mean one thing: debate time in Massachussets!

Get your abs chiseled, tomahawks chopping, racist Native American war-chants whooping, and get ready to watch Scott Brown show Elizabeth Warren a thing or two about why women are too stupid and weak to win anything except maybe a Pillsbury bake off, or if they’re really lucky, a chance for Scott Brown to pleasure them with his dick(ishness) on national teevee.


But before he is qualified to represent the elitist liberals and queers of Mitt Romney’s Taxachussets as their esteemed centerfold senator, Scott Brown must first answer a simple question.

Unfortunately, it turns out that much like Sarah Palin, easy answers to simple questions is Scott Brown’s kryptonite. How will he Superman dat ho now?

Asked by debate moderator and fellow strapping hunk of testosterone David Gregory, “Who is your model Supreme Court justice?” Brown fumbled around for about five awkward seconds (think Scott think, damn it!) before blurting out the worst possible answer to anyone who doesn’t enjoy bigoted old misogynist white men deciding what they can (make dinner?) and cannot (everything else) do.

“Antonin Scalia,” he said to disapproving boos from the crowd.

Uh oh, bad answer. Quick Scott, name someone else!

Justice Anthony Kennedy. Oops, I mean John Roberts. Did I say Roberts? I mean Sonia Sotomayor. Yeah the Mexican Soto lady for sure!

And the fact that they couldn’t be more different than say a lovely scholar and dedicated public servant named Elizabeth and a sleazy two bit cosmo model named Scott??

“That’s the beauty of being an independent, David. … I don’t need to pick one. We have plenty of justices up there, and I’m proud of the ones we have.”

It’s also the beauty of being an asshole! Besides, his real favorite model judge is the one who picked him for the Cosmo cover, obviously.

Such A Lady: Even Ever-Lovely Elizabeth Can’t Stop Laughing At Scott’s Stupidity

[image via Buzzfeed]

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