OMG! Lindsey Graham's Vote For Elena Kagan Ensures He'll Lose His Next Election To Some White Hood 'N Robe Wearin' Patriot Who Thinks Less But Hates More

Dick Durbin Whispers Sweet Nothings To Lindsey Graham As John Cornyn Jealously Fumes…

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance questionably lesbian, definitely Socialist softball player Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate by a vote of 13 to 6, split almost entirely along party lines (OMG, that’s craziness!) except for that one terrible South Carolina traitor Lindsey Graham, who voted “You go girl, woo-woo!” the only Republican to break rank and vote in favor of one of Comrade Barry’s arugula eating, elitist, Ivy educated liberal activist judges who will destroy America.

His reason for such Grand Old treachery?

Although Graham said Kagan was “not someone he would have chosen,” and there were “100 reasons” he could vote against her if he based his vote on her philosophy, he gayly decided to vote on her being qualified to hold the position, not based on the party of the evil man who nominated her.

Said Graham: “I’m going to vote for her because I believe this last election has consequences.”

He said she met a time-honored standard for judicial nominees: that they be qualified and of good character, and even though she was not the nominee he would have chosen (she’s not his type apparently), “the person who did choose — President Obama — I think chose wisely.”

“Senators shouldn’t replace the president’s judgment with their own, but merely ask, is the nominee qualified, of good character, and a judge, not a politician? To that, Graham answered yes.”

OMG, hahahaha, he is soooooo going to lose his next primary now! They don’t take too kindly to reason down in South Carolina!

But, on the bright side, if they ever do allow dem gays to gay marry, Dick Durbin has dibs on Lindsey poo who he’d just loooooove to make his bride-groom.

Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, the second-ranking Democrat in the Senate, said that Mr. Graham’s remarks had made him rethink his own approach to judicial nominations — including the decision by Democrats several years ago to prevent Miguel Estrada, a prominent conservative lawyer, from getting a hearing before the committee when President George W. Bush nominated Mr. Estrada to a federal appeals court.

Ooooooooh, how adorable!

Of Mr. Graham, Mr. Durbin said: “I reflected on some of the things that I have said and how I have voted in the past, and thought that perhaps his statement suggested a better course.”

Aww, you kids sure are cute! Never mind what those sore-loser Republican naysayers try and tell you, you two belong together, because like Bristol & Levi showed us all, true love cannot be denied! (Even if it can be boycotted by the bride’s dreadful, icy-cold hearted Mother!) But just be sure to keep your Senate job, Dick, (or at least don’t let Blago sell it just yet) because Lindsey is so getting fired.

Richard Quinn, a Graham consultant, defended his client — noting that the Senator is “not a demagogue”. Added Quinn: “He’s a thinking person’s conservative. I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits.”

Umm, yeah except those two things don’t exist anymore. If you said he’s a comatose person’s conservative who you expect to do well among voters with IQ’s somewhere between Forrest Gump and Joey Tribbiani, then absolutely! But hey, good luck with that, Linds! We’re totally rooting for you!

Quinn also noted that it’s more than four years before Graham faces voters again; “There will be many battles fought, lost and won between now and then.”

Which leaves plenty of time for the Republicans to find a suitable KKK grand wizard, Jesus freak creationist, mentally ill born again anything, homophobic closet case, family values Appalachian trail-blazing adulterer, or plain ol’ ignorant pillar of Jim Crow-lovin’ racist white trash to take on (and keep your fingers crossed!) unseat a bleeding heart liberal like Lindsey Benedict Arnold Graham, and have the distinct privilege of serving alongside the inimitable Alvin Greene.

This being South Carolina and all, surely the appeal of serving your state with a young, black, inexplicably unemployed, possibly perverted shut-in of mysterious origins with no political experience or actual knowledge to discern, who might also be mentally retarded, is reason enough.

Not that another reason is needed when the chance to give the ol’ heave-ho to Lindsey Graham is involved!

South Carolina has had quite enough sensible senators with brains not grits between their ears, who think for themselves, and vote based on what’s best for their country, not what’s best for the handful of crazed rightwing kooks who’ve hijacked their Party ever since blacky NObama hijacked their White House.

C’mon, South Carolina, have you no pride (not the gay kind, obvs!)? Return to your non-existent Southern senses! Oh, what, you’re gonna sit back and let Kentucky or Texas show you up, and claim your rightful place as the undisputed King of the Crazies. For shame, South Carolina, for shame!

We always thought you were better than that! Everyone expected so much more from the redheaded stepchild of North Carolina. Guess we should’ve known better when you elected that thinking man with a girl’s name who not only sort of looks like an old lesbo but votes for ’em too! And doesn’t even hate gross poor people or charming black Democratic presidents just for trying to help save the country from reckless Republican-led ruin.

Ugh! Now Elena Kagan will be confirmed and South Carolina can stop thinking it’s Commie California or whatever, and go back to being the backwards cesspool of illiteracy, obesity and adulterous sex.

The way God intended.

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