Remember When Hope & Change Meant Something Other Than Rope & Hang? Haha, Neither Does Obama!

Remember that tall, dark, and handsome man sweet talking America into falling head over heels for his sexy smile, chocolatey smooth leadership style, and unique ability to formulate complete sentences without the the aid of a teleprompter or Dick Cheney grunting in his ear?

You know, the “hopey changey” one who was gonna restore honor and dignity back to America by pronouncing “nuclear” correctly and not smart bombing random oil-rich Muslim countries in the Middle East for fun and profit, while letting poor black coastal cities in the U.S. drown in murky flood water, Barack Hussein Obama or something?

Neither do we!

Must’ve been a dream!

Because when we woke up to full-scale labor wars in courtesy of some Kochsucking governor in Wisconsin, continuing troop surges in Afghanistan, tax breaks for billionaire bankers, and Sarah Palin shrieking about drinking the blood of Jewish babies, some lanky black dude calling himself President Obama was suddenly waxing poetic about how the insane abuse/indefinite detention of American citizens is “appropriate,” so long as his name is U.S. Army Private Bradley Manning, and he is responsible for WikiLeaking sensitive military material all over the Internets.

What the Obama administration will not tolerate, however, is some pesky longtime public servant, like say, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley, having the basketballs big enough to commit the unforgivable sin of criticizing the the Pentagon’s Soviet-esque solitary confinement, torture, and abuse of Private First Class Bradley Manning as “ridiculous and counterproductive and stupid.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are your manners, P.J.? Didn’t all those years of government and military service teach you anything?

Despite what the whiny ‘professional left’ may lead you to believe, it is never, I repeat, never, acceptable for a high-ranking official to publicly speak out against the secret, sadistic military treatment of anyone, let alone an actual citizen of the U.S. of A, under any circumstances.

It’s simply in bad taste! Next time the U.S. government is forcing detainees to wear dog collars, blindfolds, and form naked pyramids, you smile, nod, and keep your stinkin’ trap shut, unless you want them to shut it for you, got it Crowley?

Or, you may just find yourself bound, gagged, and shivering stark naked next to your new boyfriend Bradley over at Quantico, if you catch Obama’s drift.

We’re in the middle of a WikiLeaks War, God damn it, and war is no time for rational thought or peaceful dissent!

So, in Barack Obama’s administration, it’s perfectly acceptable to abuse an American citizen in detention who has been convicted of nothing by consigning him to 23-hour-a-day solitary confinement, barring him from exercising in his cell, punitively imposing “suicide watch” restrictions on him against the recommendations of brig psychiatrists, and subjecting him to prolonged, forced nudity designed to humiliate and degrade. But speaking out against that abuse is a firing offense. Good to know. As Matt Yglesias just put it: “Sad statement about America that P.J. Crowley is the one being forced to resign over Bradley Manning.” And as David Frum added: “Crowley firing: one more demonstration of my rule: Republican pols fear their base, Dem pols despise it.”

True, but you would too if your base consisted of angry, unemployed former Klansmen with AK-47s slung across their chest, instead of arugula eating liberal elitists whose biggest threat is beating you at the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle.

Because, clearly all those hopey changey-type socialists, commies, queers, elitists, abortionists, atheists, hippie-dippie human rights advocates, and American apologists who voted for Barack Obama back in 2008 were really hoping for a president who not only continues such evil George W. Bush freedom-fighting, Stalin-style House of Horror policies as pouring refreshing troughs of water on stacks of naked Iraqi prisoners, but is now actually torturing American citizens and standing up for it, right there from the presidential podium in the White House.

Woohoo! USA! USA! USA! USA! Besides, everyone knows if voting changed anything, they’d probably have made it illegal by now.

Jane Hamsher, one of “the professional left” always stirring up trouble for Obama at the liberal blog FireDogLake, where P.J. Crowley will probably end up working now, writes:

“With his firing of Crowley, Obama makes a mockery of his own claim to be a constitutional scholar who supports transparency in government.”

What ever do you mean?? Thanks to Barry, they use Saran Wrap, not steel chains to bind their political prisoners!

“Other than Obama’s tolerance for the same detainee abuse against which he campaigned and his ongoing subservience to the military that he supposedly ‘commands,'” Salon’s Glenn Greenwald writes. “It is the way in which this Manning/Crowley behavior bolsters the regime of secrecy and the President’s obsessive attempts to destroy whistle blowing that makes this episode so important and so telling.”

Too bad nobody knows what the hell is actually being said, because it’s currently chained, gagged, and locked in a padded in Dick Cheney’s underground lair 2,500 ft below the surface of the Earth.

“By firing PJ Crowley for the offense of protesting against the sadistic military treatment of Bradley Manning, the president has now put his personal weight behind prisoner abuse,” blogger Andrew Sullivan explains. “The man who once said that forced nudity was a form of torture, now takes the word of those enforcing it over a distinguished public servant.”

Who instead of serving the people, will likely now be serving hard time in Gitmo instead.

How’s that hopey changey thing working out?

Ah, just like Clockwork. Clockwork Orange, that is.

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