Sarah Palin Continues Her Dingbat Drifter Tour Across The Mainland

Fresh off helping Gramps McCain lose his second election in as many years, sweet Sarah Palin arrived in Bush’s old stomping ground, Midland, Texas, to speak to the good ol’ boys and gals on behalf of the Liberty and Freedom Foundation about the terrible reversal of fortune that has come to pass ever since that chocolate-hued Kenyan menace stole the election from decent, hardworking, real, white Americans like y’all gathered here today.

“There’s such an appreciation here for your freedom,” Palin told the crowd of about 1,300 fellow freedom fighters who signaled their roaring approval by alternately shouting “Amen” and ringing cowbells.

Sadly, Sarah didn’t get to spend as much time talking about her favoritest subject, energy production, (drill baby drill!) as she’d like, focusing instead on getting people all fired up about the terrible tree-hugging, hippie dippie direction of the country under President Barack Obama.

Too bad the God awful ‘lamestream’ media had to once again go and skew her nice ‘n wholesome interactive map hit list targeting vulnerable congressional Democrats by putting gun crosshairs over them, along with the not-at-all suspicious words “reload,” “aim” and “fire,” as inciting violence. Ugh, typical elitist Jew run media!

“Take up your arms’ means voting,” Palin clarified.

Oh, silly us! We forgot that in wingnut 2nd amendment land, or real America, the phrase ‘taking up arms’ doesn’t mean grabbing your Smith & Wesson and/or Colt 45 and peppering holes in the nearest Democratic lawmaker’s office, but peacefully heading to the ballot box to exercise your constitutional right to pull levers, punch chads, or put a checkmark next to whichever Grand Old Party candidate is more birther, oather, and loves freedom, but hates Barry the most.

“I love her,” said Shelly Rollins of Midland, who was hoping to get an autographed copy of Palin’s 432-page assault on the written word, Going Rogue. “She reminds me of me.”

She’s dumb, selfish, self-centered, disingenuous, petty, small-minded, hypocritical, loves Jesus Christ, and is in it for herself, too!

Palin, who said that she was glad to see all of the young kids in the audience, was very critical of the horrible debt liberals had somehow magically managed to create in record-shattering time of one whole year.

“That’s selfish and it’s generational theft,” Palin said.

And who knows more about either than our li’l Alaskan ice queen herself? Besides, our hard-earned money should only be used for important things, like startin’ wars, findin’ oil, and who knows, maybe even buyin’ a fancy new wardrobe so unknown Alaskan mavericks still look good even when soundin’ bad.

Good thing Crosby Cobb, a 10-year-old who dressed as Sarah Barracuda for Halloween, got to miss school for the special occasion of hearing her highness speak, ‘stead of wastin’ time readin’, writin’ ‘n ‘rithmeticin’!

“She’s just someone who stands up for women’s rights and shows that just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t do something,” Cobb said.

‘Cept have control over your own reproductive rights. But, eh, that’s no big deal. I mean just look at Bristol, she’s doing fine ‘n dandy without it, thank you very much!

Far, far more important is having control over the arugula-eating members of the mainstream media (MSM), who as with any Sarah Palin event, were given a strict set of rules and guidelines to follow if they hoped to get their grubby paws anywhere near Miss Thang during her whistle stop tour across bumblef**k USA, helping ensure the Grand Old Party of rednecks, racists, and wingnuts remains that way for a long, long time–a minority.

When asked about the strict media restrictions, from no television cameras or recordings, other than still photographs–during the first and last five minutes of her speech ONLY–to prohibiting audience members from asking questions, Liberty and Freedom Foundation executive director Victor Cocchia said that Palin didn’t want the event to be about her, but rather about the people of the area.

Oh, Sarah, always thinking of others! If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was Mother Theresa herself!

Cocchia also said that some of the restrictions, such as not allowing interviews with people attending the event or asking their names, were not due to Palin or the foundation (‘course not!), and may have been because volunteers misinterpreted what they were supposed to do.

Like check their brains at the door?

“Maybe next time we’ll do things just a hair different,” Cocchia said.

Oh goody gumdrops! Sarah’s new A-list Hollywood stylist has all sorts of fabulous new ‘dos he’s just DYING to try on our adorable Alaskan bunny.

But thanks to evil NObamaCare, he probably won’t even get a chance to do that now. Die, that is.

Just One Question, What The Hell’s A Moran?

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