Sarah Palin’s Favorite Founding Father is "All of ‘Em," plus Jesus

So, Sarah Palin’s latest foray into the presidency as the popular, new Fox News airhead anchor got off to its usual painfully awkward start when the lovely lady from Wasilla was shockingly unable to answer a single question that requires more than a simple yes or no answer.

Like when Glenn Beck asks her to name her favorite founding father (which should be a snap since she loooooves America so much), and following a few uncomfortable seconds of her squirming nervously, groping desperately for a name, any name, she is still unable to come up with any coherent answer and (in a Katie Couric interview-from-hell flashback) is forced to resort to the ol’ emergency response, “all of them.”

To which even a man-child with the brain capacity of an inert gas like Glenn Beck is compelled to cackle hysterically and call “bullcrap” on such an obvious affront to intelligence.

But, then just as Beck tries to giggle and flirt his way out of humiliating her highness, a miracle of miracles!

Jesus swoops in, and like an angel from heaven, saves the day by whispering a name softly into her ear…

George Washington, yes, George Washington!

Of course, that’s her favorite founding father because well, he’s the only one she could think of but also cause she always loved that cherry tree story with the honesty and the hatchet. (They don’t have very many cherry trees in Alaska, ya know!). And also his bravery and diversity (whatever the hell that means) and all the other random adjectives she can think of to generically describe one of the great patriots of freedom she doesn’t know a whole lotta ’bout!

And so, Sarah once again proves that Jesus saves.

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