How Much Does It Cost For An Old, Washed Up Maverick To Buy His Way Out Of Retirement & Win An Election?

Congratulations America! All your hard work, tireless efforts, and Cindy McCain’s beer money have finally paid off because John McCain, THE John McCain, has officially defeated certified nutjob and
world-famous infomercial star J.D. Hayworth to win Arizona’s Senate seat and return once again to Washington, DC to give the nation another six years (at least!) of […]

Uh-Oh, Could The Ponzi Scheme Known As $arah Palin's Speech Scam 'cross Real America Be Finished?

Oh no-zees! All $arah Palin wanted to do was take a much-needed break from her hectic life giving slightly different versions of the same dumb campaign speech at various conventions, trade shows, and wingnut rallies for oodles of delicious, cold hard cash, and head back home to relax with the fam at her lakeside abode […]

“Complete The Danged Fence,” So John McCain Can Keep The Mexicans Out & Himself In The Senate

After losing whatever semblance of a sane mind still remained in the ol’ tank, due to a powerful combination of both the scorching desert heat and a horseback riding nutjob gunning for the old man’s senate seat, John McCain suddenly realized there’s really nowhere farther to fall once you’ve reached rock bottom.

Which can be so […]

John McCain's So Maverick, He Doesn't Even Remember If He Is One!

Oh no-zees! Between the scorching desert heat and the toll that comes with selling your soul to the highest bidder (Cindy, Satan, what’s the difference?) while trying to fend off a horseback riding hell-raiser by the initials J.D. Hayworth, John McCain can hardly remember anything these days, let alone his actual media-given name, John “Maverick” […]

What Do You Do When You're Old, Desperate, Confused, & Have An Election To Win? Call 1-800-Sarah!

Oh Walnuts! He’s so frail and confused now that he’s done EVERYTHING he possibly could to win the hearts and minds of rightwing nutjobs, and still finds himself in grave danger of getting the ol’ heave ho courtesy of an initial named madman who goes by the letters J.D. Hayworth. Poor Gramps. Life can be […]