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OMG, people, did you hear the news? The terrible, no-good, Earth-shattering, game-changing news about Joe Biden saying the word “chains,” which is taboo because it is racist against Mitt Romney and also “divisive” “disgusting” and “not uplifitng,” three things Republicans know absolutely nothing about. Nothing!
Well, well Mittens isn’t going to take this insubordination sitting down. […]
So there you have it, America. The moment you’ve been waiting for, the day that Willard “Mitt” Romney finally picked his running mate, the next (non)vice-president of the United States, Rep. Paul Ryan of the great state of Wisconsin.
Hooray!
But just who is this nice young man from down the street who looks like a Boy […]
Poor Mittens. He tries so hard! In his latest, greatest, desperate attempt to appear human, Willard Mitt Romney decided to share a precious li’l gem from his childhood, a deliciously tasty nugget about his family’s care-free life of privilege and wealth:
“I found a little paper card, a little pink card, and it said, ‘This entitles […]
With Willard “Mittens” Romney having trouble connecting to the riff-raff and vagabonds not retroactively raking in nine-figure salaries here in America, his advisors figured why not let ol’ Mitt try his perfectly manicured, white-gloved hand with the fine blokes across the pond, in the one and only land of Mary Poppins and mincemeat, wee Londontowne.
Naturally, […]
Poor, misunderstood, possibly criminal Mittens! He and his dancing horse have hit a bit of a rough patch, and all the hoof-clicking and fancy four-legged prancing in the world (of horse ballet) may not be enough to keep this Mormon Stallion perched comfortably atop his High Horse.
Because, you see, Willard “Mitt” Romney may […]
“Vote For Me Or The Mormon Gets It!”
-Mittens 2012
Sidney Barthwell might be the most interesting man in the world you’ve never heard of. He doesn’t always drink beer, and when he does, he probably doesn’t even prefer Dos Equis.
He also doesn’t always discuss which fellow classmate and future famous presidential candidate he […]
Innnnnn West Philadelphia, born and raised, on a playground is where I spent most of my days…
Hahaha, just playing, as the cool kids like to say these days. As if Willard “Mitt” Mittens Romney VIII would ever step a single freshly-shined shoe on one of those cement poor peoples’ slabs to bounce balls and play […]
Michele, my (liberty) belle. How nice it must be to live in an alternate dimension, one where sexy, straight-as-pray-the-gay-away homosexual conversion therapists make the perfect hubbies (not to mention personal stylists!) and loony, pill-popping, Migraine-suffering (and inducing!), unhinged gaffe-magnets come thisclose to winning the Republican nomination courtesy of their near-flawless campaign.
Ignorance Psychosis is bliss, […]
Oh no-zees! Looks like the constant spew of homophobic outrage from the strictly heterosexual, not-at-all-suspiciously-anal-sex-obsessed closet cases on the right over Mitt Romney’s hiring of an openly gay campaign adviser has worked its wondrous, sodomite-busting charms.
Apparently, the yelling was so loud about Mittens’ decision to hire a known homosexual to advise him on the GOP’s […]
Oh Ann. When not driving around in a “couple’a Cadillacs” or saying oblivious, tone-deaf rich lady things to the American people, like how she doesn’t “feel rich” (or anything, really), Mittens’ delightful, faux impoverished wife enjoys ruffling a few feathers, so long as they’re the finest down, exceedingly rare, and prohibitively expensive to anyone not […]
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