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Guess what, America? While you were wasting your weekend drinking overpriced, oddly-named craft beer in actual eating establishments, 19-year-old fellow oddly-named son of Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) and grandson of Libertarian Jesus Ron Paul, “William Hilton Paul” wasted no time ingratiating himself into our hearts by getting wasted–and arrested–aboard a U.S. Airways flight from Kentucky […] New (Old) Flavor of the Month (white power chocolate mousse) Ron Paul is no stranger to controversy, thanks to his various racist, sexist and otherwise close-minded policies of limited government, even more limited brain power, and the freedom to be as selfish, asshole-ish, or basically Ron Paul-ish as humanly possible. Like, say, the latest, greatest selection […] ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!! As if crazed crypt keeper/Libertarian Jesus Ron Paul and his fantasy vision of a post-apocalyptic American wasteland of small government and even smaller minds wasn’t scary enough (umm, need I mention Rand?), the man who makes John McCain look young and stable by comparison went out and found himself […] America’s favorite crazy old uncle and beloved Libertarian Jesus, Ron Paul, knows a few things about disasters (his son Rand, every presidential campaign he’s ever run, the toxic waste that spews every time he opens his mouth, hell, his whole freakin’ life!), which is why he knows the best response to a national catastrophe is […] Woohoo, wingnut America! After three days of endless shrieking and shouting about the bountiful beauty of trickle down economics (make it rain, Ronnie Reagan, make it rain!), the unspeakable evils of a woman having rights over her own dumb, slutty body, and, of course, the insufferable Donald Trump going on and on about how much richer […] A House Divided Cannot Stand, Even A House Of Pauls! Ooooh, are America’s favorite “Dr. R. Pauls” (as in Ron the elder and Rand the dumber) in the middle of a heated Muslim ‘n mosque-fueled fight?? But how could Rand’s deliciously red, Christian apple fall so far from father’s tree? Surely, Jesus did not die for our […] |
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