Wanted: Commerce Secretary For Quick Confirmation; Convicts Need Not Apply

“I Think I Smell A Rat”

With all the usual class and dignity reserved for cabinet nominees who withdraw their nominations by blindsiding the President while he’s off campaigning, Sen. Judd Gregg announced his decision not to serve as Barack Obama’s Commerce Secretary.

The problem of course being that as Obama’s Commerce Secretary and token cabinet Republican #3, Sen. Gregg “couldn’t be Judd Gregg.” Meaning he would be forced to abandon his terrible ideas and ineffective policies for ones that might actually help people.

Well this proved too much for the man who nobly asked to serve as Obama’s commerce secretary in good bipartisan faith to help solve the economic woes and move the country forward.

But that was before he realized he disagreed with the President on everything he stood for, economic policy, included. Well, that and what it means to be a decent, upstanding human being.

So pretty much the Commerce Secretary job is back on the market. All Obama needs to do now is find someone who isn’t either a chubby Mexican governor with shady business deals or a back-stabbing weasel with two double consonants in his name.

That doesn’t sound too hard, does it?

Oh, What Could Have Been

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