Welcome To The Dollhouse

Ty Inc., the brains behind the Beanie Baby craze, has agreed to pull its latest plush phenomenon from the shelves after finding themselves on the wrong end of a Michelle Obama smack down.

The fiery first lady wasn’t amused when “Marvelous Malia” and “Sweet Sasha” dolls suddenly began popping up on store shelves and “politely” demanded that Ty Inc. stop using their daughters for marketing purposes before she really started to get angry.

Despite the company’s insistence the dolls were not inspired by the Obama daughters, and were only called Sasha and Malia because they’re such “beautiful names,” Michelle “Don’t F**k With Me” Obama wouldn’t stop until every last doll was destroyed.

Or renamed Sydney and Mariah.

Apparently Mrs. Obama thinks names actually mean something. Which is weird cause I always thought that lovely couple from New Jersey named their kid Adolf Hitler because they thought it had a nice ring to it.

Who The Hell’s Sasha & Malia? We’re Sydney & Mariah!

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