What Bends But Doesn't Break? Michael Steele After A Big GOP Sexytime Scandal!

Yo, yo America, it’s your big pimpin’, off-the-hook RNC Chairman of youth, Michael Steele comin’ at ya live after this not-so-fly week involving me, some GOP peeps, and a couple stacks of Benjies bein’ tossed around some bondage-themed Lezzy clubs. Holla back y’all!

Well, turns out not everyone in the hip hop Grand Old Party of Da Streets is down with all this donor S&M sexytime. Wassup wit dat?

“Republican National Committee chief of staff Ken McKay has resigned in the wake of a controversy over an expenditure at a risque California nightclub,” RNC communications director Doug Heye said.

Awww, that’s whack, yo!

Oh, suddenly, big donors don’t want to spend the scrilla so Michael Steele can get bound, gagged, and whipped by a leather clad dominatrix named Destiny, who also shares a deep fear of big (black) government, and affordable, quality health care for all those who don’t spend their evenings getting money stuffed in their panties while swinging ’round a poll.

Any way you slice it, the RNC is facing some serious sh*t right now. Fat cat donors are scramming left and right, and Republicans are scrambling for a way to keep the money rolling without resorting to their usual playbook of intelligence-insulting racist cartoons, billboards of hate, and/or late-night misadventures featuring two girls one pole.

But the RNC doesn’t want to fire its first black chairman before the election, because then they might lose the black vote!

Ha ha. Just playin’! Michael Steele is GOP-for-life, for reals, yo!

“The members of the Republican National Committee entrusted myself and every staffer to lead the loyal opposition against the destructive Obama agenda, build a stronger Republican party and win elections. This is a role I take with the utmost seriousness. With this in mind, I want to do everything in my power to ensure that the committee uses all its resources in the best possible fashion,” Steele said.

Throw your hands up if ya wit me! For all those whose hands are leather bound behind their back by faux lesbo strippers, feel free to give the Steele baby a shout-out instead!

Can I get a tort reform, small government, lower taxes, what what!?!

Asked whether being an African American gave him a “slimmer margin of error” than another chairman might have, Steele said:

“The honest answer is ‘yes.’ It just is. Barack Obama has a slimmer margin. We all — a lot of folks do. It’s a different role for me to play and others to play, and that’s just the reality of it. But you take that as part of the nature of it.”

See, ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little role-playing now and then to ease the mind. Helps keep the flava fresh!

Apparently not to boring White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, who called Steele’s comment on race “silly,” and said, “I think Michael Steele’s problem isn’t the race card, it’s the credit card.”

Eh, that or the RNC’s (whore) house of cards.

Whatever, dog. That’s why Mr. ‘Balls Of” Steele prefers to roll the old school way: straight up, cold hard cash, baby! Dolla dolla bills, y’all!

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