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Philip Rivers Lobs Endorsement At Rick Santorum, But Like Most Things He Throws, It Will Probably Get Intercepted

Via Big Swinging Chicks:

Still irrelevent San Diego Chargers’ QB and Satan gangledopper, Philip Rivers, has apparently taken a break from his usual shrieking at opposing teams’ sidelines and fumbling key, game-clinching snaps to throw his (wobbly, slightly-retarded looking, likely intercepted) ball into a different kind of arena: the political one. But sadly for Mr. Rivers, […]

Mitt Romney Is A Huge NASCAR Fan & Has Almost As Much Personality As The Cars Racing In It

Billionaire everyman Willard “Mitt” Romney simply cannot stop reminding America what a regular, down-to-earth, hard-working, obscenely wealthy, non-robot guy he is, with a white picket fence (around one of his mansions, he’s sure!) and a wife who drives “a couple of Cadillacs” like the rest of you people with jobs and what’s the weird “M” […]

President Obama & Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly Discuss The Super Bowl, And Also How You Can Simultaneously Be A Pin Head & A Prick, Yet Still Manage To Stay Inflated

In the single most anticipated television event in the history of mankind (or one man’s decaying mind), two longtime, bitter rivals go head-to-head in an epic showdown to settle the score once and for all, while millions of prying eyes tuned in, anxiously waiting to see which side emerges victorious.

No, no, not which particular shade […]

Barack Obama Calls Philadelphia Eagles To Congratulate Them On Michael Vick, First Dog Bo No Longer Barking To Him

Does Bo know about this?

President Barack Obama, aka Barry from the block, called up the owner of Philadelphia Eagles, Jeffrey Lurie, to thank him for giving former dog-killing star quarterback Michael Vick a second chance in the NFL, and not only because it makes Obama’s beloved Chicago Bears’ week 12 win over the Eagles actually […]