Crazy Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning Throws A Curveball At Helping Poor, Struggling Americans

See this sweet face?

Well, get to know it my friends, because this scrumptious mug belongs to none other than insane electoral aberration, Kentucky’s very own illiterate contribution to society, Senator Jim Bunning, who likely just cost your broke, out-of-work ass any and all health and unemployment benefits heading your way. Yay!

Yes, thanks to this pillar […]

Obama Takes On House Leader Who Glows & Senile Former Foes During Final Health Care Throes

Nothing makes for must-see teevee like seven straight hours of shouting, incoherent back-and-forths about wonky health care reform particulars, like how many poor, pathetic Americans the new bill in Congress could help not die, if the lovely men and women elected to represent them even remotely cared about silly statistics like preventable deaths.

But since they […]

There’s Only One Version Of History John McCain Follows: His Own!

It ain’t easy being Gramps McCain. As if trying to turn into a bag of Earl Gray in order to defeat some insane, initial-named birther, J.D. Hayworth, isn’t hard enough, Johnny has the unfortunate task of doing it all while fighting a losing battle with dementia, and a daughter and trophy wife who simply […]

Dick Scoffs At His Aorta, Challenges His Heart To Attack Him Again

Lovable, white-haired cuddlebug Dick Cheney is doing fine and dandy, relaxing in a hospital after his most recent ‘chest pain’ scare. Of course, it being Dick Cheney and all, we should have known mild “chest pains” are really secret code for mild “heart attacks,” one of which he indeed did have on Monday, bringing his […]

Congrats, Gays! Now Slightly Less Than Half Of America Believes You’re Going To Hell

Wow, America you should be swelling with pride. And by pride, I naturally mean the flamboyant, rainbowy gay kind.

That’s because for the first time in the history of mankind and/or public opinion polls, less Americans think homosexuality is a morally repugnant abomination against the Lord than do. And it only took 238 […]

Great Scott! Anything Can Happen When Brown Turns Blue...

Oh no, the end is near! Republican Great White Hope, one-time nude model, Scott Brown, who was supposed to ride his freedom truck to Washington, DC to save America from its socialist death slide, has instead voted with the tyrannical Democratic majority to destroy a Republican filibuster of the terrible, new $15 billion ‘Jobs Bill’ […]

The Cure For The Common Conservative: Dr. Ron Paul, M.D.

The only thing that makes Republicans angrier than gays and black presidents combined is apparently every potential Republican candidate.

They can’t even find a decent frontrunner to win a meaningless straw poll at Woodstock for Wingnuts, the Conservative Political Action Conference, for crying out loud!

So instead of a respectable candidate like Mittens Romney, who usually […]

The Sweet Freedom Of Idiocy Never Tasted So Good

It’s no secret the loyal birthers, secessionists, constitutionalists, and Dick (Cheney) Heads attending Woodstock for Wingnuts, 2010’s Conservative Political Action Conference, love freedom. So much in fact that there’s nothing they’d rather do than suck the sweet nectar of liberty from Robert E. Lee’s slave-lovin’ teet.

Freedom is everything to them! Freedom from oppression at the […]

Forget The Beatles, The Only Thing Bigger Than Jesus Is Dick!

Where does a sneering, creepy, washed up, former henchman of the apocalypse (aka George W. Bush’s eight-year hell reign), who is hated by many and loved by few, go when he needs a little pick me up?

Give up? Why to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), of course!

It’s where all the old, irrelevant societal pariahs […]

Sorry Gays, Virginia Is For Lovers, Not Sinners!

Renowned lover of Jesus and keeping women out of the workplace and in the kitchen where they belong, Virginia Governor Robert “Bob” McDonnell has decided to continue Christ’s gospel of love, compassion, and equality by removing discrimination protections for gay and lesbian state workers in Virginia, apparently the state for deity-approved lovers only.

Rescinding the previous […]