McCain Picks Young Hottie As Running Mate In Effort To Stave Off Extinction

You gotta hand it to the old man. With his presidential campaign basically on life support, McCain jolted his tired candidacy back from the near-dead with his choice of 44-year-old hottie and Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin as running mate. At the spry, young age of 44, Palin offers the perfect youthful contrast to […]

As Dems Rejoice, Republicans Remind Us That Hope Is For Terrorists

Wow. Unless you are soulless, heartless, have no pulse, or apparently, are a Republican strategist, chances are you were moved by Joe Biden’s vice-presidential acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention last night. Call me old-fashioned, but between Biden’s deeply personal and genuinely heartfelt speech, Hillary’s electrifying call for unity and equally electrifying pantsuit, […]

Who Knows? Joe Knows!

It seems there is nothing Joe Biden does not know. But don’t take my word for it; just ask any Democratic politician and they will all tell you the same thing: “Joe Knows Best.” So the next question logically becomes, if Joe is so smart, how come he is not the Democratic Presidential Nominee?

Apparently, while […]

Proof God Hates Democrats

On the eve of the Democratic National Convention in Denver, four tornadoes ripped across several areas around the city, bringing ferocious rain and hail storms that threatened to disrupt Monday’s DNC blowout. But fear not my friends, the show must go on!

Lucky for all us freedom-lovers, Mother Nature’s wrath subsided just in time […]

Obama’s 3 AM Text Proves He’s Just ‘Biden’ His Time

Obama’s promise to text supporters his VP choice before the media found out may have been foiled by an insider leak–but rest assured, all is not lost! At least we now know the answer to one pressing question: Yes, as President, Mr. Night Owl Obama will indeed be there to answer that 3 AM […]

Obama’s Poll Numbers Slip, As People Remember They Are Still A Little Bit Racist

Recent Poll Numbers Show McCain Not Dead Yet

It is official. After months fueled by optimism and hope (very un-American), the public’s honeymoon with Democratic Presidential nominee Barack Obama is finally over. While pundits suggest the recent slowdown of the Obama juggernaut is due to the McCain campaign’s aggressive new ad campaign attacking Obama on everything […]

Bush Doing What He Does Best–Acting Presidential

I hate the administration of George W. Bush more than anything. I literally shudder at most of his policy decisions and find his whole presidency disastrous. The fact that this man has been the leader of the free world for the past eight years is utterly terrifying.

And a little funny. I […]

Just Your Average John

Unlike that elitist Sen. Barack Obama, Sen. John McCain understands the plight of working-class Americans. McCain knows first-hand what a struggle it is for the average, hard-working American, like himself, to make ends meet in these tight economic times.

Unlike Mr. Fancy Pants Obama, McCain wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his […]

McCain: Flip-Flops Are For Issues, Not Feet

Another one of McCain’s many skills is his unparalleled ability to flip-flop on the issues. While McCain now touts his plan to penalize or shame oil companies into lowering gas prices, a June speech he gave to oil executives declaring his unwavering support for offshore drilling prompted oil and gas exec’s to donate almost 1 […]

McCain Economics — Reality, Be Damned

Since it was first discussed months ago, the gas tax holiday proposed by McCain has been rejected by just about everyone with a pulse, economists included. And while we cannot believe everything economists say, there is something to be said about an idea so bad that not a single economist will agree to endorse it. […]