Mark Sanford Knows God Loves Cheating Republican Hypocrites

South Carolina’s shining star governor Mark Sanford may have been thisclose to having his face end up on a milk carton, if it weren’t for the small fact that he was never missing at all, just on a covert op to South America to bang his “dear, dear friend” who understands him unlike that shrew […]

Much Like Climate Change, John Boehner’s Color Is Totally Natural

Orange-hued House Minority Leader John Boehner has a few choice words for that ridiculous climate change bill House Democrats passed over the weekend. As if climate change is anything more than a bunch of elitist Democratic hogwash designed to protect lazy, good-for-nothing polar bears instead of hard-working oil conglomerates. Plus, if it wasn’t for all […]

Sex, Lies, And Videotape

America’s original $400 hair cut, philandering Southern gentleman John Edwards thought he was sitting pretty after Vegas playboy Sen. John Ensign and lovestruck Latina lothario Gov. Mark Sanford recently admitted their own extramarital affairs.

Certainly this will make everyone forget all about Johnny’s little sexual indiscretion while his wife battled cancer and he ran for president […]

Joe Biden Promises Gays Equal Rights…One Of These Days

The good thing about being president is you can always send your vice-president to do the annoying sh*t you don’t want to do yourself.

Like dealing with those angry gays and lesbians. And boy are they pissed at old Barry! They think he doesn’t care about them now that he’s the president of the world and […]

Governors Gone Wild

Governor Hall of Shame

Get a hold of yourselves, governors! Is this any way for a state leader to act? Remember, you were elected to represent your states, not humiliate them by acting like a circus sideshow routine. At this rate, America is in serious jeopardy of having its vaunted political system turn into one bad […]

Don’t Cry For Me Argentina

Another day, another Republican politician caught with his pants down (gasp!). What is the Grand Old Party of traditional family values to do?

When we first heard the terrible news that South Carolina governor Mark Sanford was missing, we like the rest of the nation, were praying for his safe return from wherever he was. Off […]

Memoirs Of A Dick

Just in case you haven’t had enough Dick (Cheney, that is) lately, you’ll be happy to know the former Bush VP has decided to grace the world with his first memoir to be published in Spring 2011, just a few months after Dubya’s highly anticipated novel debuts. OMG, 2011 is gonna be awesome!

Now, normally Dick […]

Phew! Gov. Mark Sanford’s Face Won’t Be On Milk Cartons After All

Good news nation! South Carolina Governor and notorious welfare queen Mark Sanford, who vanished without a trace from his beloved red-headed stepchild of a state on Thursday, has finally been found!

Which is good because everyone was getting pretty worried over his little one-man game of hide-and-seek, except of course for his lovely wife […]

GOP Confused Over Obama’s Reluctance To Nuke Iran

As democracy continued to blossom in Iran over the weekend, leaving a trail of death and destruction in its wake, President Obama remained decidedly cautious in his involvement, releasing a statement calling on the government “to stop all violent and unjust actions against its own people.”

While Obama’s calm, even-mannered approach has been praised by most […]

Nerd Prom, Round Two

Joker-in-Chief Barack Obama knows a little something about catching flies–and wooing large, celebrity-speckled crowds of journalists, politicians and other VIP-types at the 65th annual Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association Dinner. Not to be confused with last month’s Nerd Prom aka the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, where our favorite MC was equally charming.

So, once again Barry […]