Welcome To Glennbeckistan: Once You Go Beck You Never Go Back!

Insane person and human tear factory Glenn Beck took time from scribbling conspiracy theories on chalk boards to introduce America to his latest, greatest, delusional attempt to bilk hardworking people out of millions of dollars create a libertarian community of crazies, the Ayn Rand-inspired utopia of guns and personal responsibility known as Glennbeckistan!

On his program last night, Beck revealed that his intention to “go Galt” is quite literal, unveiling grandiose plans to create an entirely self-sustaining community called Independence Park that will provide its own food and energy, produce television and film content, host research and development, serve as a marketplace for products and ideas, while also housing a theme park and serving as a residential community.

Ooooh, so it’s like a Disney World for Doomsday Preppers?

While Independence is very much a dream at this point, the proposed city-theme park hybrid would bring several of Glenn’s seemingly disconnected projects into one place. Media, live events, small business stores, educational projects, charity, entertainment, news, information, and technology R&D – all of these things would have a home in Independence. With the rest of the country and the world going away from the values of freedom, responsibility and truth, Independence would be a place built on the very foundation of those principles. A retreat from the world where entrepreneurs, artists, and creators could come to put their ideas to work. A place for families to bring their children to be inspired.

I can almost picture it now! A utopian paradise where every man, woman, and child is inspired by the genius of a mentally unstable former Fox News host/drug addict, free from big bad gubmint oppression in the form of laws, safety regulations, paved roads, public schools, fire departments, and traffic lights.

Just livin’ the dream, y’all!

The ambitious project, projected to cost over two billion dollars, has been heavily influenced by Walt Disney…

And not just cause he hates Jews too!

Glenn believes that he can bring the heart and the spirit of Walt’s early Disneyland ideas into reality. Independence, USA wouldn’t be about rides and merchandise, but would be about community and freedom. The Marketplace would be a place where craftsmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state.

Sort of like a job fair, if it were held in a medieval castle surrounded by a crocodile-filled moat to ward off bubonic plague-stricken invaders. Glenn’s bringing Feudal back!

There would also be an Media Center, where Glenn’s production company would film television, movies, documentaries, and more. Glenn hoped to include scripted television that would challenge viewers without resorting to a loss of human decency. He also said it would be a place where aspiring journalists would learn how to be great reporters.

How cute. Like his  own little Fox News!

Across the lake, there would be a church modeled after The Alamo which would act as a multi-denominational mission center.

Now everyone can worship Christ the way HE intended: in a mega church based on a bloody battle from the mid 18oos.

The town will also have a working ranch where visitors can learn how to farm and work the land.

How to farm and work the land!?!? OMG, SOCIALISM!

Independence would also be home to a Research and Development center where people would come to learn, innovate, educate, and create. There would be a theme park for people to recharge and have fun with their families.

Maybe even try the new dinosaur ride through Noah’s Ark!

People would also have the option to live in Independence, with a residential area where people of different incomes could all come together and be neighbors.

Except for gays, blacks, Mexicans, and anyone whose income isn’t secretly funneled into Super PACs or offshore tax-havens in the Cayman Islands.  Oh, and like always, fetuses welcome!

So if you’re looking for something a little more exciting than a trip to Disney, book your one-way ticket to Independence and make your vacation from reality permanent!

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