|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
¡Ay, caramba! Desperate times call for desperate measures. And if there were ever a presidential candidate well versed in the realm of desperation, it is undoubtedly Mitt Romney. You see, Mittens has had a very tough week! After all, it’s not every day that a secret video leaks with the GOP nominee insulting 47% of […] Supreme asshole and constant reminder of all that is wrong with our nation’s legal system, Justice Antonin Scalia did not disappoint in his latest opportunity to ruin America with terrible legislation aimed at those least able to defend themselves: the terrible, no good Mexicans. You see, Scalia has never met a bad law he didn’t like, […] When you think of crazed, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriffs, normally the first thing that comes to mind is a crazed, gay, Mexican-hating, wingnut Arizona sheriff who hates his own hideous homo self even more than the terrible Mexicans he’s always shrieking about, that he actually tries to deport his gay Mexican lover for the terrible […] Whether he’s touting his foreign policy skills by grunting nonsense syllables like “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” or rescuing the nation’s economy by changing from the gold standard of coins to the Godfather standard of pepperoni slices, and installing the wacko, fictional tax plan he stole from SimCity 4 that repeats the arbitrary number “9” three times while taxing […] As if the name Virgil Peck isn’t freakin’ crazy enough, a certain Kansas State Republican from Tyro figured what better way to reinforce all the negative stereotypes of dumb-as-dirt, ass backwards rednecks from the dusty middle of nowhere than opening his big fat trap to say something terrible and insane about some, likely brown-skinned, minority […] Since there is no Buy It Now button to instantly purchase the utterly unwanted job of California Governor, eBay Power Seller™ and notorious employee abuser Meg Whitman is instead forced to engage in a bidding war, like some petty commoner, in the hopes that it is indeed possible for the one-time CEO of the […] Rejoice America! Because yesterday, while Senate Republicans — some of the most sexually open, secure people in the entire world — were patriotically filibustering the very idea of debating the possibility of maybe repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, giving terrible gays and lezzies the right to die for their country, the Grand Obstructionist Party were […] Heroic Nazi-hunting Governor Jan Brewer is ready to lead the great Mexican-huntin’, parched desert wasteland formerly known as Arizona, back to its White Power glory days…err, if she could only remember a single reason why or even a single word of her favoritest English language! Warning: It’s very painful. Or as Politico’s Ben Smith notes, “reflects […] If You Build It, They Won’t Come! Hooray, America! Congress has saved the nation from the menacing brown threat streaming uncontrollably in from the sun ‘n drug-soaked south to steal our jobs, sex-up our supple wives & daughters, and show us dumb gringos how a real Salsa Verde is made. So now that Congress has passed this […] “You know, look, I know it’s babies we’re talking about and it’s hard to be tough on babies but let’s remember we’re talking about illegal aliens coming to this country for the purpose of birthing a child, not because they love the kid, cause they want that child to provide them the […] |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Copyright © 2024 Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites - All Rights Reserved |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||