Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Biggest Beltway Whore Of All?

With the Grand Old Party of family values and straight, missionary-style sex only, feelin’ the burning red heat over the latest Republican donor scandal involving the usual multi-thousand dollar spending sprees at various, upscale bondage-themed Lezzy clubs, the real question on everyone’s mind is which of our esteemed two political parties (of honor, integrity, and […]

This Nice North Carolina Man, Bill, Isn't A Racist, He Simply Doesn't Care For All Them Black Folk

Oh no! This poor, hardworking, decent, REAL AMERICAN from good ol’ North Carolina, Bill, simply does not understand why every single negro man, women, and child living off in these great United States insists on calling C-SPAN, round-the-clock to demand welfare, health care, free government funded abortions, reparations for those few years of slightly rough […]

Fun Facts: Special Literal Edition!

Ooooh, everybody loves fun facts! Literally. Everybody.

Did you know?

Beautiful blue-eyed bombshell Michele Bachmann is literally Nostradamus (with ovaries!) because she correctly predicted that Barack Obama is literally Hitler or at the very least, any one of the other notoriously evil monsters of humanity over the last oh, two centuries or so.

And also Obama is […]

Sarah Palin Knows We Need Constitutional Shredders, Not Scholars, As President Of America

It is no secret the Tea Party movement and its loyal herb ‘n spice obsessed ‘baggers live, breathe, and procreate solely for the Constitution of the United States.

In fact, the teabaggers’ undying affection for our nation’s founding charter is soooooo strong, that the very constitution of their entire movement is strict adherence to and devoted […]

Sarah Palin Continues Her Dingbat Drifter Tour Across The Mainland

Fresh off helping Gramps McCain lose his second election in as many years, sweet Sarah Palin arrived in Bush’s old stomping ground, Midland, Texas, to speak to the good ol’ boys and gals on behalf of the Liberty and Freedom Foundation about the terrible reversal of fortune that has come to pass ever […]

What Do You Do When You're Old, Desperate, Confused, & Have An Election To Win? Call 1-800-Sarah!

Oh Walnuts! He’s so frail and confused now that he’s done EVERYTHING he possibly could to win the hearts and minds of rightwing nutjobs, and still finds himself in grave danger of getting the ol’ heave ho courtesy of an initial named madman who goes by the letters J.D. Hayworth. Poor Gramps. Life can be […]

New Poll Shows Majority Of Republicans As Crazy As Their Leaders!

As Obama Derangement Syndrome–the disease where otherwise normal people are transformed into rabid, Hitler-waving lunatics who harass and throw crumpled dollar bills at defenseless old men with Parkinsons all because a semi-black man occupies the White House–continues to infect Teabaggers, the entire Republican Party, and other unstable nutjobs posing as patriots, a disturbing new Harris […]

GOP Tries New, Mature Approach: Biting Their Nose To Spite Their Face

Oops, Reality Must Have Caught Mitch Off Guard Again!

Wah Wah! No fair! She hit me first! He pulled my hair! Wah Wah!

Like everything else they handle so impressively well, the Republicans’ uncanny ability to face facts and accept defeat like mature, responsible adults elected by the people to represent the people, was in full effect […]

Thanks To Discovery, Sarah Palin's Reality Is Now The Whole World's Reality!

When magical Alaskan wonderwoman Sarah Palin was first thrust upon us, the unsuspecting masses, by a senile old man in the final throes of his desperate campaign to stave off creeping dementia and (not-so) early retirement, our immediate thoughts were who is this breathtaking woman and where the hell has she been our whole lives?

Truth […]

Nazi Pelosi's Gavel, Coupled With Barry's Signature Means Granny And Trig Will Be Dead In A Week

OH NO!!! Health Care has passed and soon all of us will be dead and buried along with Grandmama and baby Trig and no one will be alive to remember this terrible day when freedom died, insurance companies were regulated, and every fifth Republican was forced by law to have an […]