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With the Grand Old Party of family values and straight, missionary-style sex only, feelin’ the burning red heat over the latest Republican donor scandal involving the usual multi-thousand dollar spending sprees at various, upscale bondage-themed Lezzy clubs, the real question on everyone’s mind is which of our esteemed two political parties (of honor, integrity, and […] Oh no! This poor, hardworking, decent, REAL AMERICAN from good ol’ North Carolina, Bill, simply does not understand why every single negro man, women, and child living off in these great United States insists on calling C-SPAN, round-the-clock to demand welfare, health care, free government funded abortions, reparations for those few years of slightly rough […] Ooooh, everybody loves fun facts! Literally. Everybody. Did you know? Beautiful blue-eyed bombshell Michele Bachmann is literally Nostradamus (with ovaries!) because she correctly predicted that Barack Obama is literally Hitler or at the very least, any one of the other notoriously evil monsters of humanity over the last oh, two centuries or so. And also Obama is […] It is no secret the Tea Party movement and its loyal herb ‘n spice obsessed ‘baggers live, breathe, and procreate solely for the Constitution of the United States. In fact, the teabaggers’ undying affection for our nation’s founding charter is soooooo strong, that the very constitution of their entire movement is strict adherence to and devoted […]
Fresh off helping Gramps McCain lose his second election in as many years, sweet Sarah Palin arrived in Bush’s old stomping ground, Midland, Texas, to speak to the good ol’ boys and gals on behalf of the Liberty and Freedom Foundation about the terrible reversal of fortune that has come to pass ever […] Oh Walnuts! He’s so frail and confused now that he’s done EVERYTHING he possibly could to win the hearts and minds of rightwing nutjobs, and still finds himself in grave danger of getting the ol’ heave ho courtesy of an initial named madman who goes by the letters J.D. Hayworth. Poor Gramps. Life can be […] Oops, Reality Must Have Caught Mitch Off Guard Again! Wah Wah! No fair! She hit me first! He pulled my hair! Wah Wah! Like everything else they handle so impressively well, the Republicans’ uncanny ability to face facts and accept defeat like mature, responsible adults elected by the people to represent the people, was in full effect […] When magical Alaskan wonderwoman Sarah Palin was first thrust upon us, the unsuspecting masses, by a senile old man in the final throes of his desperate campaign to stave off creeping dementia and (not-so) early retirement, our immediate thoughts were who is this breathtaking woman and where the hell has she been our whole lives? Truth […] |
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