Bubba’s Health Care Tip To Barry: Grow A Pair

When you’re single-handedly responsible for saving two frightened Asian-American lady journalists from the pint-sized dungeon master of the bad Korea, you basically earn the right to do and say whatever you please for the next, oh, six months or so. At least.

It also helps if you happen to be a former president who also tried to get health care reform passed in the mid-1990s, only to see it shot down by a lethal combination of catching a couple of adulterous BJs in the Oval Office and a Republican majority in Congress.

But compared to the bullsh*t Bubba had to deal with, Barack Obama ain’t got nothin’ to worry about! And if there’s anyone who knows a few things about messing up–and as such–how to occasionally avoid making said mistakes, it is none other than William Jefferson Clinton.

So listen up Barry and take it from someone who knows: The Republicans ain’t got sh*t on you!

For starters, stop caring so damn much what those wacko Republicans think: they don’t have the numbers, so they don’t mean squat. Unlike when he was trying to pass health care reform and had to deal with that fat, pain-in-the-butt Newt character instead of a nice, attractive, albeit wide-eyed lady named Nancy.

“All we have to worry about is getting things done and doing them as well as we can,” Clinton said. “Don’t even worry about the Republicans. Let them figure out what they’re going to stand for. ‘Cause as long as they’re sitting around waiting for us to mess up, they don’t have a chance.”

This time Bubba knows, “It’s going to have a different ending — he’s going to get health care reform.”

“The broad canvas is that the Republicans are trying to figure out whether to keep playing their old songs or try to write a new script,” he said. “Meanwhile, they’re hoping this president will fail, and they’re trying to spook the Democrats from the more vulnerable districts into helping him fail.”

Don’t be silly guys. The Dems don’t need any help failing. They’re perfectly capable of doing that all by themselves!

Though, I guess sometimes it’s hard to resist the urge to spook the hell out of everybody for no reason at all. But hell, what are Republicans for anyway?

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