Dana Perino’s Just Thankful Facts And Sanity Don’t Matter To Fox News

Dim-witted golden-haired starlet Dana Perino was apparently too busy dusting Ronnie Reagan figurines in the White House attic to remember a certain Tuesday in September, 2001 when some real meanie terrorists decided to crash two planes into the twin towers, killing some 3,000 people, sending the nation into panic, and forever altering the course of history.

Unlike the recent Fort Hood shooting which the Obama administration is clearly too pussy to label a terrorist attack, the perpetrators of 9/11 weren’t al-Qaeda operatives or anything because everyone (and certainly the former White House spokesperson) knows there were NO TERRORIST ATTACKS ON AMERICA during George W. Bush’s presidency. The man kept us as safe and snug as Junebugs in summer, she’ll have you know!

And since the network behind Dana’s mind-blowing revelation happens to be Fox News, it naturally doesn’t matter if the statement is true, rational, or in Ms. Perino’s case, the biggest load of bullsh*t ever told, so long as the lingering effect is lightly-veiled racism masked by ignorance.

Which helps explains why, upon hearing an actual George W. Bush White House spokesperson saying the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history never actually happened at all, or at least not under King Georgy’s watch, neither Sean Hannity nor Fox’s token head-shaking “expert” cause he sounds all smart and Britishy, bats an eye.

Welcome to the new Fox News reality, that magical happy place where some brainless testosterone ball with a thick neck and even thicker New Jersey accent passes as a respectable journalist and hot former press secretaries can sound more insane than the drunk homeless schizophrenic woman who lives in the ally across the street.

So kudos to Dana for retroactively preventing the non-terrorist attacks of 9/11 by reminding us who was not(?) president, responsible (or reading to children at the Emma E. Booker Elementary School) at the exact moment the first plane (and second…) hit the tower and also for having the guts to tell us simpletons what a terrible terrorist attack is–Obama and Fort Hood–and what it isn’t–Bush and 9/11.

For all 13 and 3,000 reasons, respectively.

President John McCain will now present you with the Nobel Peace Prize he just won but can’t accept because of integrity and also cause he’s afraid of Liz Cheney.

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