Forget Swine Flu, Gay Marriage Bug Threatens Entire Northeast!

Oh no! While America was being distracted by the pig AIDS pandemic, a much scarier virus was busy creeping across our fair land.

I’m talking of course about the dreaded gay marriage bug tearing through the Northeast this spring, easily taking Ben and Jerry’s hedonist commune Vermont, before striking New Hampshire, and now Maine. We’re talking MAINE, people!

That’s not including the queer assault on America’s heartland last month, bringing the good people of Iowa right down the rainbow drain with them. Not to mention, the original Bobbsey Twins of sin, Massachusetts and Connecticut, who first fell victim to the devil’s handiwork by legalizing unholy unions of sin (or as liberals call it, same-sex marriage) in 2004 and 2008, respectively.

Even little ol’ Washington, DC couldn’t resist the wily charms of allowing two people to marry each other not for propagation alone but love, sweet love. Okay, well not exactly to marry but to at least have their god-forsaken matrimony honored when away from the
Sodom and Gomorrah they call home and in the confines of the nation’s capital.

Hey, how else do you expect a swampy, non-state with no voting rights to contribute to the downfall of society?

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