Michael "Heart Of" Steele Vows To Teabag His Party Into Extinction

Yo yo what up America? It’s your off-the-hook hip-hop Republican National Committee chairman coming to you live after the great Republican Renaissance of 2009, courtesy of a certain tough-as-Steele cow on the tracks. Moo, motherf**kers Moo!

You see, after the RNC-backed endorsement of a “moderate Republican” in the NY-23 special election was eaten by rabid throngs of teabaggers, the old “big tent” Michael Steele decided he no longer liked those middle-of-the-road candidates he’d already selected to run in various 2010 races. In fact, he now despises these disgusting traitors and would do everything in his power to “come after” these terrorists and socialists masquerading as “moderate” Republicans.

“Candidates who live in moderate to slightly liberal districts have got to walk a little bit carefully here, because you do not want to put yourself in a position where you’re crossing that line on conservative principles, fiscal principles, because we’ll come after you,” Steele told ABC’s Top Line in response to a question about Republicans who support the White House’s stimulus and health care plans.

“You’re gonna find yourself in a very tough hole if you’re arguing for the president’s stimulus plan or Nancy Pelosi’s health plan. There’s no justification for growing the size of government the way this administration and this Congress wants to do it.”

Awww, snap! Steele ain’t playing, yo! He will straight up go Joe Wilson on anyone who dare reach across the aisle to help America.

While Steele didn’t name names, dem fightin’ words could be taken as a warning to governors Charlie Crist and Arnold Schwarzenegger for supporting NObama’s terrible stimulus (like a bunch of Barry-whipped pansies) and Sen. Olympia Snowe for being the lone Republican senator to side with the Democratic grandma slayers and Nazis trying to reform health care.

He also hinted that the RNC will move further right and try to capture the support of tea partiers because, “We still are and remain the conservative party.”

“The challenge now, as you see the emergence of the 9/12 movement and the tea parties and so forth, is to help them appreciate that we’re with them, we’re walking that walk with them,” he said. “We’re making the same arguments they’re making about government intrusion into health care and the economy, stripping our freedoms, and that is a very difficult walk.”

Of course it’s difficult! The road to nowhere always is.

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