PETA’s Failed Foray Into Sex Industry

Why PETA’s New Commercial Makes Me Want To Shove Double-Bacon Cheeseburgers In My Mouth And Stomp Freshly Planted Flowers

It is official. The animal-crusaders over at PETA will not stop until they are the uncontested winners of the world’s most irritating organization prize. It is the only explanation for the new veggie porn they tried to pass as legitimate Super Bowl commercial.

Need I remind you of a certain ’04 halftime peep show that left the entire nation in Janet Jackson nipple-scarred trauma? Well that was for a nipple. Not even a whole one.

So, tell me PETA, what are the chances a bunch of lingerie models having hot, steamy sex with broccoli, pumpkins, and other assorted vegetables would ever be allowed to air on the highest watched night in television? Or actually make being vegetarian appealing?

Tofu meatballs are never going to be cool, no matter how many legumes you screw.

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