Punking the White House: America’s New Pastime

Much like Parents of the Year Mayumi and Richard Heene, fellow oddly-named scumbags Michaele and Tareq Salahi know the quickest way to strike it rich in America involves doing something tacky and quasi-illegal, and then getting the elitist media to cover it endlessly, and turn a handsome profit in no time at all!

It’s the American way!

Why else would that nice couple from the upcoming reality TV show “The Real Housewives of Washington DC” sneak their way into the White House and crash President Obama’s first state dinner if they didn’t care that much about America?

It’s not like gatecrashers Michaele and Tareq are bankrupt, fame-obsessed celebrity-wannabees with a long, bizarre history of crashing A-list soirees, who owe money all over town but have no way of coming up with the cash unless…

Wait. You don’t think this fab duo figured they might be able to use their gatecrashing skill (hot blonde+rich “ethnic” dude) and almost celebrity status to oh, I don’t know, let’s say, break into a presidential banquet, Facebook the sh*t out of their latest crazy accomplishment, and then sell their wacky White House adventure to the highest bidder for a handsome six-figure sum, do you??

And to think, I just figured they were happy, well-adjusted individuals with deeply fulfilling lives who in a sudden surge of patriotic love and pride decided they simply had to get a handshake from that man everyone was always buzzing about, Barack something or other.

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