Sarah Palin’s Asinine Mouthpiece Meg Stapleton Shows She Can Quit Like A Maverick, Too!

NOOOOOOO!!!! Say it ain’t so, please, say it ain’t so! Not Meg Stapleton, THE MEG STAPLETON, of Sarah Palin superloyal spokeswoman fame.

Of all the brilliant aides who could have quit the PR disaster known as the great Sarah Palin experiment, it had to be world-famous bearer of bad news and trusted Palin confidante, Meg Stapleton, loyally concocting terrible excuses since December 2006!

Now who will be there to write Sarah’s very angry posts on her favoritest Facebook whenever some terrible liberal who, unlike Rush Limbaugh, is not an expert on satire and thus has no business to ever utter the word “Retard” because Sarah Palin owns it. Forever. Trig gave it to her.

Stapleton, who has been Palin’s right-hand woman and among her most trusted advisers since being unleashed upon the unsuspecting world as part of Gramps McCain’s Faustian bargain to win the White House in exchange for his soul, is apparently following in her boss’s footsteps, abruptly quitting so she can focus on things like “ice skating and skiing” and “spending more time with her family,” who apparently have meant nothing to her for the last 4 or so years.

“While it has been an honor to help Gov. Palin and her family over the last few years, I am also honored to have this incredible opportunity to stay home with my precious miracle, Isabella,” Stapleton said.

Oh so now everyone’s kid is a precious miracle? Hmmm, have fun explaining to li’l Trigger why he has to share being all precious and miraculous with some cooties-infected Latina-sounding chick named Isabella!

“At 2 years old, I have missed significant moments in her life, but I look forward with great happiness to celebrating milestones as well as mundane moments with her as I refocus my priorities. I also look forward to seeing my saint-of-a-husband again, too!”

WHOA WHOA, okay, calm down Meg. We get it. You literally cannot wait another second to get the hell away from that crazy Alaskan hell-woman and into the strong, burly arms of your very own patron saint hubby, Saint Francis of Assisi Stapleton.

“While I had hoped to work together on so many more projects, time with my precious 2-year-old has been further minimized with the whirlwind commitments of all things Palin,” she said. “I have done my best to scale back, but Isabella is now resorting to hiding my BlackBerry, and she shouldn’t grow up begging for a mother to start acting like a mother.”

I mean we all know how Bristol turned out

“Meg has been deeply involved in all things Palin and instrumental in Sarah’s many successes,” Fred Malek, a prominent Republican fundraiser and Palin friend, told POLITICO. “It’s hard to replace anyone so loyal, tireless and effective, but the Palin phenomenon will continue. Meg has surely earned the privilege to devote more time to her 2-year-old daughter, but I expect she will continue to render advice to her good friend on key issues.”

Oooooh, we hope so! Otherwise, how will Sarah ever know how to lie, cheat and distort reality to make herself look like she actually knows where the hell Africa is or what the hell she means by the “health care that’s necessary to shore up the economy because it’s all about job creation” other than baby Trigger doesn’t stand a chance against NObama’s death squads?

Or even how to yell at former baby daddy’s on social networking sites using ironic quotes like “precious miracle” or “blessed little angel” all while going rogue on liberal elitist teleprompters, relying instead on the power of her unshakable faith in the Almighty to guide her.

To the nearest convenience store to pick up a pack of ballpoints so she can scribble nonsense on the palm of her hand like Jesus instructed.

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