Joe Lieberman See’s Opportunity To Fulfill His Destiny As Biggest Buzzkill Ever

America’s most boring, backstabbing, rat pariah Senator Joe Lieberman woke up this morning only to realize it was late October and he hadn’t filled his “What can I do to piss everyone off?” quota for the month.

This made him very upset. So upset in fact that he was forced to quicken his slow, lumbering gait and hurry his droopy self over to reporters to hastily explain his reasons for wanting to screw up the whole health care reform thing. Perhaps a troubled childhood? Or maybe he’s just jealous of that Harry Reid fellow for also being boring, old and annoying, yet oddly likable or at least compared to sniveling, self-serving frauds like himself.

“I told Senator Reid that I’m strongly inclined–I haven’t totally decided, but I’m strongly inclined–to vote to proceed to the health care debate, even though I don’t support the bill that he’s bringing together because it’s important that we start the debate on health care reform because I want to vote for health care reform this year. But I also told him that if the bill remains what it is now, I will not be able to support a cloture motion before final passage. Therefore I will try to stop the passage of the bill.”

Of course, this man of honor (and the magic #60 for Democrats in a cloture vote) would totally side with Republicans to filibuster any health reform bill he doesn’t agree with because that’s basically what Democrat-turned-Independent-turned outcast congressional nuisances do when they aren’t getting enough attention.

“I think a lot of people may think that the public option is free. It’s not. It’s going to cost the taxpayers and people who have health insurance now, and if it doesn’t it’s going to add terribly to the national debt…there’s so much in this health reform legislation that is so good, that I think they’re just putting an unnecessary burden on top of it by creating another Washington-based entitlement program.”

Oh, Joe, Joe Joe! Just because you’re still bitter about being embarrassed in the 2006 Democratic primary and having to switch parties (because no one likes you) doesn’t mean you have to ruin everything and sell your soul all so some sketchy corporation continues to fund your pathetic campaign to desperately cling to power.

You may be a lot of things (whiny, petty, and mind-blowingly dull), but we all know you’re not stupid. Or at least not in the Sarah Palin kind of way, which means you know very well the public option wouldn’t be a government-funded entitlement for free health care like you claim, but a self-sufficient program financed by premiums and unable to draw on federal funds, with the whole concept being the opposite of difficult to understand and all.

Never mind the fact his statements are at great odds with the findings of most experts, who say that by lowering the government’s subsidy burden, a public option will actually save money. Joe pays no mind to annoying trivialities like facts and truth.

Think about it. How else would he continue his impressive streak as the hands-down winner of the people’s choice awards for douchiest senator ever? I mean you don’t get to be the greatest mistake the public ever made for nothing!

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