Mitt Romney's Christmas Card Reveals He's Either Running For President Or Taking On China's Economy With His Own Strapping Mormon Workforce

Guess which grandchild heard that Papa might run again?

The one that’s hyperventilating, sobbing, “No, papa, noooooooo!!!”

Look, Mitt, I don’t know which one of your perfectly adorable, weirdly named, ridiculously large Mormon brood heard you were running for president again, and frankly, I don’t much care.

Nor does anyone in this great big God-blessed nation much appreciate some dumb Christmas card featuring a partial litter of Romneys and some insultingly dumb “hint” about how everyone’s fave Mittens is going to once again waste millions of dollars battling it out with Sarah Palin in the ultimate campaign showdown of GOP politicians’ with annoyingly-named children vying for the once-in-a-lifetime once-every-four-years chance to get humiliated by Barack Obama in a national election.


Oh look, here is the inside of Romney’s Christmas card/Quadrennial White House bid depicting the precise moment when the rest of the magical Mormons come skipping out of the enchanted gum drop forest to join Papa Romney on his epic journey to possible Iowa straw poll victory before losing the nomination to someone much older or dumber, depending on what’s in vogue for Republicans this year:

Holy Holidays! It looks like the Palins and the Romneys are also in a hotly contested race to outbreed each other too.

That or Mittens isn’t taking any chances this time around, and is simply begetting his own electorate instead.

Which is a great idea, Mitt! Just get everyone in your really really ridiculously good looking family to register to vote and Holy Brigham Young! you’ve got that Republican nomination locked up tighter than one of your sixteen wives’ chastity belts.

So remember folks, a vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for endless war, endless economic stagnation, and endless environmental devastation.

Hell, if those pictures are any indication, the man’s never pulled out of anything in his life!

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