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OMG, we’ve waited and waited and finally our prayers have been answered–homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley is officially headed to the U.S. Senate! Eight months, a couple of recounts, and countless court fights after the epic battle between SNL comedian turned godless Democrat Al Franken and hippie stoner turned lame Republican Norm Coleman first began, the […] Al Franken wins! Sort of. Five months after the rest of the country’s 50 states managed to get their act together and elect someone, anyone to represent them in Congress, the great state of Minnesota remains torn between homosexual self-help guru Stuart Smalley and reformed, grass-smoking flower child turned three-piece suit. Luckily for them, a Minnesota court […] Aw, Shucks! Alaska voters have finally given the boot to senatorial fossil Ted Stevens and instead elected the first Democrat to represent Alaska in Congress in nearly three decades. After a grueling two-week-long process of counting nearly 90,000 absentee and early votes from across Alaska, Democratic Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich was finally able to unseat one of […] |
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