The Tsunami That Is Mark Sanford’s Life

When it rains it pours. Unless you’re Mark Sanford of course, in which case, it’s a tsunami.

It wasn’t enough to just get caught with his Argentinean mistress while he was supposed to be roughing it in the Appalachian wilderness or having his wife announce she’s leaving him shortly after their two-week European jaunt to repair the marriage failed to fix anything except the delusion that Jenny may still want Mark back.

No, no Mark needed more to really make 2009 stand out as the opposite of that lame Russell Crowe movie and qualify as the worst year of one painfully unslick South Carolina governor’s life.

Luckily, he got just what he needed. Turns out Mr. stimulus-rejecting welfare queen Mark Sanford improperly used state aircraft for personal and political trips, even carting around those god-awful wife and kids–all in violation of state law. Yikes!

And you thought banging South American hotties on the sly was the only improper thing this tight-fisted, wasteful-spending hating Republican star governor of South Carolina was capable of. Puh-leese!

He knows how to squander state funds with the best of ’em! Like taking private jet’s to his kid’s sporting events, all-important hair and dentist appointments, book signings, birthday parties, Christmas tree lighting ceremonies, and other pressing, high-level state functions.

What he will not do however is accept federal stimulus money for something frivolous like South Carolina’s public schools. Not until every last state employee uses both sides of their Post-It notes and understands the importance of stretching every dollar as far as it goes.

All the way to Buenos Aires if you’re really good.

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