Constitutional-Lovin' Republicans (+Joe Lieberman) Discuss The Various Ways To Shred It...For Freedom!

Wingnuts from sea to shining sea, across this great land, are coming out in droves over the arrest of would-be Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad, each with their own unique perspective on how best to (mis)treat this awful terror suspect, and deny him his constitutional rights as a naturalized American citizen. Hooray!

But with so many congressional crazies saying so many asinine things, it’s hard to decide which fair wingnut on the wall is indeed the nuttiest of them all!

Naturally, leading the chorus of shrieking weasels on the right is Arizona’s own Mexican-hatin’ maverick John McCain, who simply doesn’t understand why we don’t pick and choose which Americans deserve rights under the law.

Like which (if any!) detained suspects, especially Pakistani-born American ones, deserve to be reminded of their constitutionally-guaranteed right to remain silent.

“I think obviously that [mirandizing Shahzad] would be a serious mistake until we’ve—at least until we find out as much information as we have, and there are ways—legal ways—of delaying that.”— Sen. John McCain (R-AZ).

Like a quick cat nap to help refresh your Alzheimer’s-ravaged mind?

Of course, you might assume that someone who spent half a decade rotting away in a Vietnamese cage with no rights whatsoever in the defense of this nation and its system of justice, would have the utmost respect for the rule of law. You might also assume that said person would still have some semblance of integrity left in tact. You would, of course, be wrong on both fronts, however.

Luckily, that other shrill voice of hysteria reason, Rep. Peter King never really had any credibility to begin with, unless you consider his one-man boycott over the media’s coverage of that no-good lowlife Michael Jackson’s death, a sicko pervert he wouldn’t even let in the same room as his child or grandchild. He doesn’t care if the King of Pop moonwalked his way into it!

Well, luckily for us, Long Island’s own King of Nothing, Peter King, has his own ideas about what to do with the newest scumsucker on the block, a common Muslim named Faisal Shahzad.

“I hope that [Attorney General Eric] Holder did discuss this with the intelligence community. If they believe they got enough from him, how much more should they get?”

“Did they Mirandize him? I know he’s an American citizen but still.” — Rep. Peter King (R-NY).

BUT STILL!! Sure he’s an “American” and all, BUT STILL, does this really mean he deserves to be treated as one? Does anyone, really?

Eh, not really, according to Connecticut’s favorite sniveling pariah, Joe Lieberman, whose own one-man jihad on fun and the dumb rule of law includes maybe changing the Constitution, sometimes, for some people, like those “affiliated with foreign terrorist organizations.”

“I think it’s time for us to look at whether we want to amend that law to apply it to American citizens who choose to become affiliated with foreign terrorist organizations, whether they should not also be deprived automatically of their citizenship, and therefore be deprived of rights that come with that citizenship when they are apprehended and charged with a terrorist act,” Sen. Joe Lieberman said.

Ooooh, does this include his other terrorist affiliations, like big business and the Republican Party??

Although, we must admit, there is something incredibly tempting about the thought of Joe Lieberman no longer having the constitutional right to make the rest of us want to immediately denounce our citizenship, and hastily flee somewhere where they don’t elect backstabbing traitors, moonlighting as constitutional shredders, as their esteemed representatives.

But surely somewhere in the Grand Old Party of terror-fightin’ Constitutional scholars and loyal patriots of freedom and teabags, there is at least a single voice of reason, right?

“He is a citizen of the United States, so I say we uphold the laws and the Constitution on citizens. If you are a citizen, you obey the law and follow the Constitution. [Shahzad] has all the rights under the Constitution.”

“We don’t shred the Constitution when it is popular. We do the right thing.”

And yes, apparently, there are times when that does include listening to the craziest mother of ’em all, Fox News’s own blue-eyed angel of truth and tears, Glenn Lee Beck.

The now, sole voice of reason(?) left in the Republican Party.

So, God bless America? We’re certainly gonna need it!

Though, I guess if things get really bad, we can just take Rush Limbaugh’s advice and move to a place where silly, trivial things like the Constitution don’t matter much anyway. Ya know, like Somalia or Arizona or whatever.

Look on the bright side, at least unregulated access to all of Rush’s favorite narcotics will be a whole lot easier to snag!

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