Sarah Palin Supports The Donald's Crazy, Fake Birther Quest For President Of The United States Of Jesus

Since rich people obviously don’t have to pay taxes in this country we call America (that’s for poor people, silly!), the “haves” and “have-mores” among us must constantly come up with new and creative ways to squander their massive, undeserved fortunes, if only as a gentle reminder how much better, and more well off they are than your pathetic, schlubby working class ass.

Take failed businessman, Donald Trump, for example. His so-called “run” for the White House is such an epic disaster, that in a desperate, last-ditch attempt to divert attention from his own toupee-wearing ineptitude and narcissistic delusions of grandeur, he’s decided to embark on a very sudden, very public quest to (re)discover the mysterious 44th president Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama’s true origins.

Some Socialist WHORE’s womb in deepest darkest Africa??

Good thing at least one fellow unemployed grifter understands and “appreciates” the pressing need to search for publicity self-respect President Obama’s birth certificate in the allegedly “United” state of volcanoes, surfing, and fake presidential anchor babies, Hawaii.

“I appreciate that the Donald wants to spend his resources on something that so interests him and so many Americans,” Sarah Palin told Fox News. “More power to him. He’s not just throwing stones, you know — from the sidelines. He’s digging in there. He’s paying for researchers to know why President Obama would have spent $2 million to not show his birth certificate. So more power to him.”

Indeed! The Donald Trump, you’re hired!

“Well, you know, I think he was born in Hawaii because there was the birth announcement put in the newspaper. But obviously, if there’s something there that the president doesn’t want people to see on that birth certificate,” she said. “Then he seems to go to great lengths to make sure it isn’t shown, and that’s kind of perplexing for a lot of people.”

Especially the retarded special needs ones, who may or may not be running for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to represent the few, the proud, the toothless Birther-Truther-Oather segment of the population before getting humiliated by the very same no-good illegal alien NObama in the general elections.

And although Palin claims that our president was born right here, in her favoritest Jesus blessed Freedomland, she just knows (the North Star told her!) Obama is hiding something. Something dark, something sinister!

But whatever would President Obama be hiding, if not his African birthplace? His secret lady parts? That his real father is Muammar Gaddafi? Or maybe Darth Vader’s Socialist space lizard twin? Point is, nobody knows!

What we do know however is that Donald Trump is no ordinary failed business man who’s too stupid to even figure out how to make money off the multi-million-dollar casino and New York real estate empire he was born into, and spends all his time roasting his D-list celebrity friends and firing desperate, frightened people on cable teevee instead.

But that’s not it! Donald is also creating jobs! Like the cracksquad team of The Apprentice interns he hired not to comb through the luxurious burnt orange colored nest of “hair” resting comfortably atop his head, but rather to comb through freak, obscure Teabagger/Wingnut message boards all day long from the Waikiki Beach Marriott Resort and Spa.

As The Donald told NBC last week, “I have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re finding.”

Tacky, overpriced glass-and-gold-trim condo buildings, an endless, well-stocked supply of even younger, even hotter new trophy wives, and enough hand sanitizers and instant Donald Trump™ birth certificates to last the next ten disastrous presidential election campaigns.

Haha, and you thought that handsome coif was only to look presidential.

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