Sunday, The Perfect Day For Brunch And Secret Wars

In case you forgot that until Nov. 4, America is still being run by a fun-loving douche bag, George W. Bush found a little way to remind the public (and the world) that he is still in charge of f-ing everything up.

Because what better way to spice up the drab days of October than starting a secret war with Syria? Duh!

I guess George was getting restless all alone with Laura in the White House, not to mention a little jealous that all the attention is always on some dumb election race nobody cares about.

Plus, nothing conquers boredom and rejuvenates the spirit like a quick, under-the-radar strike on some no-name Middle Eastern country like Syria.

Of course, this juicy bit of preemptive military aggression went largely uncovered by most media outlets, who were already too busy keeping America informed on important matters like VP wardrobes, plumbers, and the latest wacky antics of our schizophrenic stock markets.

Per usual, the White House was mum on the attack, except for laughingly admitting, “you got us” before winking and refusing to discuss further as a matter of national security.

And also because they don’t really care what the hell you have to say about it, they are the boss of you for at least another week and that is that.

What, you think Bush was just gonna quietly exit the White House, like some elitist pussy president who just unassumingly “leaves” office at the end of their (disastrous) 8-year term raping and pillaging the nation?

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