John Boehner's Brain's Been So Fried From Barry's Star Power, He Doesn't Even Feel The Need To Try Anymore!

Oh look, 24 hours have passed since terrible Democrats voted in favor of financial reform, which means glowing orange House Minority Leader John Boehner should have endorsed some new, untenable policy in bad faith, umm, about twenty minutes ago at least!

And like the total boner he is, he did not disappoint. His brilliant idea, […]

Death Of A Salesman

Like most 101-year-olds, General Motors has been plagued by a number of health problems for the past, oh I don’t know, two decades or so.

You see much like people, time is not always kind to those centenarians among us, whether human or corporate. And GM is no exception. Crippling health care costs, deteriorating vision, […]

Side Effects May Include Nausea, Irregular Heartbeat, And Sudden Loss Of Funds

How Low Can It Go?

Yeah, it’s that bad.

With unemployment on the rise and blue-chip stocks selling for less than most bargain bin items at the local dollar store, the U.S. economy seems to be sinking faster than the Republican party.

Or “falling off a cliff” if you prefer billionaire investor Warren Buffet’s rosy assessment of the […]

Hard Knock Life: Obama Grounds Citigroup’s High-Flying Hopes

Here’s To A Job Well Done!

Having secured a sweet $45 billion bailout from taxpayers, the savvy wizards over at Citigroup did what any rational company narrowly escaping bankruptcy would do: Buy a luxurious, new $50 million corporate jet using funds just fleeced from the public, of course!

Citigroup execs defended the move as a smart business […]