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Exercise The (Oil) Demons, Bobby! Yeeeeehaaaaww America! The moment you’ve been waiting, hoping, and praying for your entire life has finally arrived, and just in the nick of time! In case somethin’ disastrous happens, like say, demonic blobs of British Petroleum ooze up from the shores and burst through your quiet, neighborhood church in Louisiana, threatening […] What do you do when a desperate, scientifically unexplainable, glowing orange Boehner starts spouting his equally boneheaded opinions on __________ (fill in the blank with whatever subject he is currently waxing pathetic poetic about)? Why, you naturally give that big Boehner a slap upside the head for having the tangelos big enough to even so much […] When Joe Barton felt the sweet, seductive allure of those fifteen minutes of hot, sexy oil-soaked fame, he just couldn’t resist! It felt soooooo good finally getting the attention for once, and having people listen to him instead of that orange Boehner for a change. Now, there’s a change Joe can certainly believe in! You know […] Corporate troll and treacherous Grand Old Pariah, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, the ranking member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, went out on a limb to prove he is in fact, the Grade-A douchebag everyone suspected by, wait for it…apologizing to poor BP for the terrible inconvenience America has caused the oil […] $arah Palin sure get’s it. But do you, America? Do you get it?? Because when patron St. $arah was leading thousands of morons chanting her favoritest slogans, “drill, baby drill” and “drill here, drill now,” what she really meant was that we should in no way, shape, or form, be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, […] Howdy America and Happy Memorial Day to all of you, even those who aren’t in the military and have done nothing to honor our soldiers except shove brats and burgers in your big. fat mouths while competing to see who can guzzle the most beers and smash the empty cans against their foreheads in the […] Drill, Baby, Drill! Drill, Baby, Drill! Drill, Baby, Drill! Everyone knows environmental conservation and coastal drilling go together like, well, water and oil, especially the more than 200,000 gallons spilling into the Gulf of Mexico every day, after another one of those really safe, technologically sound British Petroleum-leased oil rigs exploded, killing 11 workers and spewing […] |
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