Hypocrisy « Democralypse Now – The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites

Minnesota GOP Is So Fiscally Conservative, They've Decided To Stop The Whole "Paying Rent" Thing & Join The Rest Of America By Getting Evicted Instead!

If there’s one thing the Republican Party is good at, it is talking about how good they are at all things money-related, more specifically, taking your hard-earned money and spending it on worthwhile things like strippers and smart bombs, not wasteful things like say, poor people or a year’s worth of rent for their Party […]

Republicans Commemorate Holocaust Remembrance Day By Reminding Jews That Anti-Semitism Is Alive & Well In The Republican Party (Unlike Jews!)

While Virginia Republican and self-hating Heeb Eric Cantor was coyly suggesting there might, might be a slight anti-semitism problem among House GOP members (you don’t say!?), fellow Republican wingnut from Virginia’s parasitic hell twin to the West, John Raese, was busy proving it by comparing his need to fill his lungs with Marlboro […]

Chris Christie Fears Americans Are Turning Into Couch Potatoes, Which He Will Then Deep Fry & Stuff Down His Throat

When not gobbling down Jersey Mike’s subs or helicoptering his hefty load from his Grand Canyon-sized couch to the nearest corrupt, corporate-sponsored, rich person’s bitchfest, New Jersey Gov. of Mass Chris Christie took a moment to warn the good people of AmeriCANT what happens when Uncle Sam meets La-Z-Boy. Other than a bunch of […]

Turns Out Obama's Health Care Plan Does Include A Death Panel & It's Called The Supreme Court

While black teens in hoodies were being murdered for the terrible crime of WWBIGC (Walking While Black In Gated Communities), the nine Supremely irritating muumuus on the nation’s High Court were chomping at the bit for some reason, any reason, to do away with that no-good Obama and his awful, un-American desire to have a […]

Newt Gingrich Knows The Real Tragedy In Trayvon Martin's Murder Is That A Black Man Is President

While Fox News America was busy mourning the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin by blaming the usual suspects like hooded sweatshirts and bags of skittles, instead of say, racist, heavily-armed, self-appointed, white supremacist neighborhood watchmen with nothing better to do than hunt down and kill black teenagers for sport, other people like President Barack Obama […]

Hey America, The Donald Knows What's Weird & It Isn't Whatever Died On Top Of His Head

America’s most beloved human hairpiece and billionaire cartoon character THE Donald Trump took a break from the usual destroying people’s lives and slathering Crisco on his already unnaturally orange body to assume his rightful place as the #1 undisputed authority on all things weird.

Even weirder is that his name was actually “Soetoro.” But hey, fuggedaboutit!

Cause […]

Billionaire Everyman Mitt Romney Strangely Morphs Into A Poor, Southern Gent When Speaking To Crowd In Mississippi

Poor Mittens Romney. It’s trying to act like a human being, but it just doesn’t know how. Hell, the more it tries to act like an actual carbon-based, oxygen breathing entity, not futuristic cyborg Terminator Mormonator sent to terrorize humanity, the more we are all convinced it is in fact just a newer, more advanced, […]

How Do I Love Thee America, Let Mitt Count The Ways...

You Know Who Else Mitt Loves? That Guy! (Oh Wait, That’s A Mirror!)

Willard “Mitt” Romney is a lover of many things. Many, many generic things. He loves air, for instance. The way it effortlessly swirls around from place to place, filling up empty space without ever being noticed. The delicate way it fills your chest, […]

Rick Santorum AKA Pope Pius XIII Wants To Vomit All Over America Because Of JFK

Insane person and Slick Rick Santorum is once again all hot ‘n bothered, but this time it isn’t even because of hoity-toity elitist college educations, horny teenagers grinding their privates against one another like sweaty savages, the legally sanctioned Holocaust of the unborn, or secret Muslim terrorist presidents who don’t believe America is locked […]

Mitt Romney Is A Huge NASCAR Fan & Has Almost As Much Personality As The Cars Racing In It

Billionaire everyman Willard “Mitt” Romney simply cannot stop reminding America what a regular, down-to-earth, hard-working, obscenely wealthy, non-robot guy he is, with a white picket fence (around one of his mansions, he’s sure!) and a wife who drives “a couple of Cadillacs” like the rest of you people with jobs and what’s the weird “M” […]

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