Put This In The Brilliant Ideas Department: Sarah Palin Fans Plan To Simultaneously Pull Over To The Side Of The Road For Some Dumb Reason Or Another

What would you do, if you were a tea ‘n freedom lovin’ patriot who despises NObama, adores Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, is borderline obsessed with Sarah Palin, and wanted to make a really BIG statement?

Well, one patriotic, Palin-worshiping group of conservative kooks ‘n cranks, Stand Up America, is encouraging all Jeebus-lovin’ Americans not otherwise occupied with a job, kids, or responsibility of any kind, to get in their cars, trucks, RV’s, 4×4’s, tractor-trailers, motorcycles, mopeds, jalopies, socialist medicare scooters, or whatever it is angry, overweight, white, real Americans drive, and head over “to their nearest highway or main route” on March 13 at 4 p.m. Eastern time, and then abruptly stop and pull over to the side of the road, presumably causing all sorts of terrible traffic jams and car accidents for freedom.

For what, you wonder?

“Sarah Palin called the Obama Administration’s actions the ‘Road to Ruin’!”

Umm, yes, that one sentence tells this wonderful group what it’s next big move should be on traffic-filled streets and bustling highways. Hooray!

“So how do we make our voices known? How do we finally succeed? How do we send a clear message that cannot be twisted by the media, misinterpreted by politicians, or co-opted by Obama apologists?”

Oooh, ooh, I know! How about, act like crazed madmen on dangerous freeways and highways all across roadside America??

“It won’t cost you any money short of a gallon of gas. It won’t take much of your time, only about an hour. It won’t mean travel to distant cities. It won’t mean crowds to wade through, and it won’t interfere with your life too much.”

Yes, life. Ya know, the stuff you do when not polishing your pistol to a glistening shine and/or panicking about a certain chocolatey-hued menace in the once-pure White House.

“What it will be is FUN, and a great way to vent your frustration, without being labeled, or maligned!”

Or noticed, even!

Are you ready, patriots?

• We want everyone to get into their cars, trucks, motorcycles, RVs, Semis, box trucks, and any other vehicle, and drive to your nearest highway or main route;
• Don’t go far, just enough to get in a safe position to pull over to the shoulder, and park, engine running, headlights and flashers on;
• Imagine others driving by wondering “what the heck”? Wave to everyone;
• Get ten friends to do the same; or go to an over pass and hang temporary signs saying – “Time to stop!” Just imagine the imagery! But be SAFE!
• Once pulled over to the side, place calls or texts to your friends, take pictures, send tweets, flood Facebook with messages and photos, along with several million others on other highways across the land.
• Stay one hour if you can, get your friends to do the same, line up all your vehicles in a safe manner as far off the side as you can, and hit your horns.
• One hour gives the media a chance to react, a chance to get footage. Imagine the traffic reports!
• Hang a sign inside your back window, or use temporary soap to write a message safely on the window;
• Be a part of millions of people saying: “Stop the madness, we are pulling over and just stopping!”


Imagine the image, when every news outlet in the USA must take notice. (Every=Fox News!)

Helicopters recording the event, YouTube filling with videos from every spot in America, with one message: “Just Stop”! Imagine seeing 300 cars pulled over for miles in California, in Texas, in New Jersey…etc.

Imagine the evening news and cable stations saying, “What the heck is going on?”

Do the math. If a car is 17 feet long, and 10 feet is maintained between each vehicle, it takes only 195 cars to stretch one mile. Imagine 500 tractor trailers pulling over for one hour! That’s over seven miles!

Yes, do the math! And realize that if you weren’t dumb-as-donkeys and could actually add/multiply/divide numbers, you’d also realize that even a million dirty, old, broken-down vehicles sparsely dotting the roadsides of America wouldn’t create a disturbance, because the highways are already littered with dirty, old, broken-down station wagons and abandoned Ford pintos.

Be SAFE though! And remember, don’t do anything illegal!
• Be respectful, and patriotic to a fault;
• Stay away from congested areas, you know where they are, do some research;
• Leave plenty of room so you can pull back out safely, in turn, one-at-a-time;
• Help each other when stopping or starting back out into traffic lanes;
• Be courteous to your fellow “Stoppers”;
• Do not do anything illegal, and do not get out and walk, Observe and obey all laws;
• Don’t cause any interference with the flow of traffic;
• Do not disobey any lawful order;
• Be the PATRIOTIC icon of virtue that you are!
“We are on the ‘Road to Ruin’, and we are stopping on the side of that road to protest the downfall of our country! We are not going to drive on that road anymore!”

And neither are you! Thanks to Stand Up America’s beautiful, collective dream, where confused, frightened motorists having car trouble on the highway wouldn’t have so much as a single inch of room to safely pull their smoking vehicle over to the shoulder, causing moose piles of accidents, fatalities and massive 50-car pile ups, along with bumper-to-bumper traffic jams from sea to shining sea.

Which, if all goes well, should finally bring the necessary attention to some stupid, meaningless line Sarah Palin once muttered, probably right before unceremoniously firing the talentless, sadsack ghostwriter who penned it.

Not to mention that hopping from motorized scooter to Ford F150 to Winnebago is the closest these “Stand Up Americans” can actually get to ‘Standing Up!’

Someone better alert Cracker Barrel, they’re in for a loooooong Sunday!

Acting like a complete idiot sure makes a person hungry!

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